I have to learn that there are things that I have to give an account for in my life for me to truly be able to move on and take my place in God's presence. I have to learn how to let go and let God handle the things that are too big for me to handle. Sometimes the holes I dig myself into in life keep me bogged down and I don't know what to do with myself. But I cannot afford to let that keep me down anymore. I have children that God has blessed me with to raise and things that He is calling me to do. The first thing that I must do is Forgive. Forgive myself and forgive others.
How can I expect God to forgive me when I can't do that for him? If there are people that I have hurt, I must ask for forgiveness, then leave the rest to God to handle. But I must do my part. There are things that I have done that I must answer to. One cannot be blessed in their mess. I must clean up the mess that I have made before true redemption can be attained. I have to Have faith. And stay focused on my path that God has laid out for me. The devil will use the things that I have not given over to God to derail me. If I have given everything over to God and confessed, the devil cannot use me against myself to keep you away from God!
People I think have not forgiven me, probably already have, I just have to reach out to the ones who still weigh heavily on my heart and rectify it. Ask God to give me the words to soften whomever's heart needs to so they receive me and what I may have to say. I HAVE TO STOP LETTING FEAR TAKE ME DOWN AND OUT! Fear is this -False Evidence Appearing Real! Man has no heaven or hell to put me in, only God. I place yourself in a personal hell and punish myself worse than God ever could by staying in the dark. I am learning to listen for God! He may minister to me in phrases I hear people say, songs that play on the radio, or directly to me if I just listen.
I am on a long path to attaining faith and letting the Lord in my life 100%. It is sooo easy, yet so hard at the same time. I know that I have to stop beating myself up for the past and any part I played in anything. If I stayed to long in a bad realtionsip, even though I was being a great mate, I still played a part in allowing the destructiveness to happen by staying. Today, I will start forgiving. I encourage everyone to start today by telling yourself you forgive you. You forgive you for treating you like you are not worth it and like the crappy place you were in you deserved, because in actuality, if nobody every told you, imma tell you- YOU ARE FRIGGIN AWESOME AND FREAKIN PERFECT!
Today work on doing one thing to make yourself smile. This may sound selfish, but this week we will focus on ourselves, because afterall- you can't be there for anyone else in entierty if you are not whole yourself. Even on the airplane, they say to put your own mask on FIRST, before attempting to help others. So this week, we will put our masks on and BREATHE- rememeber, I am in this journey right along with you. XOXOX
Peace and Blessings
PS. I am in NOOO way promoting religion- whoever you choose to worship or believe in is fine with me and we are still cool, as long as you believe in YOURSELF......