Shame off...

After enduring so much stigma from people who claim to love and want what's best for me... I unconsciously began to stigmatise myself. Which I see now is the worst form of stigma.

I forgot who and what I am. I conformed to who and what they made me out to be. That's the problem... I conformed. My mom and sister love me but will not have me shame the family by being open about my status... So, I conformed.

My pastor and his wife didn't want me to shame their church and their God by being open about my status... So, I conformed.

My fiance/ex wanted me to stay in an abusive relationship coz no 1 will love me anyway... So, I conformed.

But that's not me! I'm not a conformist! I do what I want, when I want... I'm a Diva for crying out loud! So today I snapped, I gave him back his ring, got on the pulpit and told how much God loves me even when I'm regarded a disgrace to some, I challenged the parents who can't accept the fact that I have an STI to get their kidz out of my club.

The shame that I have been carrying is finally off my head.... I'm a goddess, I'm Divine, I am Inspiration, I'm Valuable, I'm Amour (love)... I'm a D.I.V.A.

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Comments

Shalini Eddens's picture

Speaking truth to power..even when the truth feels like the scariest thing we can tell...Shame off and POWER and LOVE on! Much respect for your courage Tatty2gud.

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Teresa Sullivan's picture

My dear sister in the struggle, the worst stigma that we as HIV+ women is definitely the stigma that we place on our self. I glad that you came to a understanding that you are more than just what your statue is. you are are powerful women that needs to start being more proactive with help remove the stigma that we as HIV +women are facing in our communities that we work in, worship in, our the relationships that we find our self in.

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celina5000's picture

Tatty2gud: you are a beautiful person. I know I have spent much of my own life as a hermit. But did I really have to? You're so brave and perceptive to realize this when you have so much living to do. I wish I could see those people's faces now that they realize you'r e not going to do their bidding by being "quiet".

What a wonderful time for you, and now for all of us, with your sharing. Thank you, Gisele

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fifi's picture

big up to you baby,you are an exceptional woman dee dont ever let anyone think less of you.love you baby

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tatty2gud's picture

ah babes thank you... *blush* luv u more....
Thank u ladies, I'm greatly humbled. If we love ourselves first, our communities will have no other option but to respect us.

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