Week 2-Focus on your Focus

DrKatMd's picture

This week's theme is FOCUS ON YOUR FOCUS. Hopefully you weathered the storm, both emotionally and physically last week. And you forgave some people, but more importantly, yourself. And you took some YOU time, to do something for yourself. This week, we will talk about after forgiveness - which is the hurricane; what you will do AFTER the hurricane, which is the clean up time. PACKING UP. Don't bring the same stuff with you into the new clean frame of mind that you are working towards... that stuff is old, broken and SO LAST SEASON... get some new threads, some new thinking--- out with the old, and in with the FAB.

FOCUS ON YOUR FOCUS

It hit me, after the hurricane, I am cleaning and I still have the same bags. I thought I had taken it out and was happy to get rid of it, but for some strange reason, I seemed to have missed a piece. For years, I have been battling back and forth with someone because they just refused to do the right things. I would yell, scream and cry just to get them to see it my way. And after all of the frustration, heartache and tears, they still didn’t change. They still did whatever they wanted with whoever they wanted, said whatever they wanted about whatever they wanted; all the while I was hurt and confused and still having to take care of OUR responsibilities, and stupidly taking them back into my circle. Then last night, as I lay awake crying inside and out, it hit me ENOUGH.

I started cleaning like crazy. Not just the physical cleaning--the kids room have never looked so glam--but emotional cleaning as well. People think that just because I don’t cry over spilled Kool-Aid, that I didn’t want to drink it. WRONG – I get thirsty too DAMN IT.

I get drained. I want to take a break. I want to go hang out. Hell I want to take a shower without a little head peeking in saying “ Hey whatcha doing”. I want to regain that which was me BC – Before Children- and take some of me WC- with children- and make a SUPER MEGA ME PERIOD. I want to be that person that is not so bogged down with maintaining EVEYRTHING and EVEYRONE by myself. The person that gets enough sleep, doesn’t rely on coffee to keep her awake, and still can go out and party with her girls without feeling bad that she had to ASK someone to take care of her kids because she does it ALONE. That person that can go out shopping JUST FOR HER, at least once a year, and buy some new stuff because she knows that she doesn’t have to worry about anything for the boys because OTHER will do it, not because she asked but because it’s moral ethically and ACTUALLY the right thing to do. The person who doesn’t have to work herself to the bone because she has a back up to HELP her.

But really I had to sit down, in the midst of the emotional and physical clutter, in the middle of the aftermath of the hurricane that I created in my room; and figure out what luggage would be suitable for the new life.

I had to realize that my baggage was going to be there. No one can be my doorman and whisk it away to a different compartment. I had to sit down and really think and process what was going on in MY life and be honest with it. I had to own it. Here are some ways to properly access your baggage, so you won’t be at the airport with more luggage than you can handle- or that is allowed on board ☺.

1. If you have a trusted boyfriend/girlfriend, soul mate, best friend, etc., ask them to help you carry your baggage to a safe place and open up each piece of luggage and go through them together. It may be a hurtful process, as you may find things you didn't expect to be hiding in there. At least, this way you aren't discovering yourself alone. You have someone to help you and be there for you as you throw away what you do not need, so you can move on ***MY PERSONAL PICK***

2. Take your baggage to a counselor. This person is a neutral party. You don't run the risk of the counselor trying to force their opinions on you. This may be good, but there will be an air of non familiarity, plus you end up paying out of your ass for just one hour of cleaning out the baggage!

3. Do it by yourself. Take your baggage to a quiet place and go through it by yourself. Not my choice because you can become overwhelmed and end up going loco because there will be no safety net of family or friends....its just you.

4. Just leave it somewhere (not recommended) You can just leave your baggage somewhere, but there is the 99.9% chance that you will find it somewhere along in life when you thought you got everything lined up and this baggage will mess up everything you worked so hard to build.

If you have baggage, make sure you keep it in the expensive stuff (like your favorite Louis Vuitton overnight bag) we can't have people's baggage falling out all over the place because their bag busted or something! Even if you do have the expensive stuff, some of the baggage seeps through the cracks and affects others. So be smart about your baggage, claim it because its yours. The hard part is the claiming it....the best part is the cleaning, accepting and learning from it.

Peace and Blessings,

Kat

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