"I wish" those two words hold so much for me. I wish I could, I wish I was, I wish they would, I wish I hadn't. Sometimes I wish the last few years were just a dream. That the pain, hurt, abuse, loss, failure was just a part of a big elaborate dream. But I know it's not. I know that all the ups, downs, and turnarounds are a part of a divine plan. There have been plenty of days that I haven't wanted to be a voice, a face, an ear, or a part of this group that deals with HIV. I don't want to stand out in this world that can't deal with folks who are "different". A world where people hate you because of skin color, sexual orientation, medical condition, political beliefs, where you live, and a plethora of other things. I wish we could see the humans behind the labels, skintones, and differences.
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