When Is It Enough?

As it draws closer to my mom’s birthday, I can’t help but still be overcome with emotion. I can’t emphasize how I felt my life would surely end because I’ve never known sadness like losing my mom. I still haven’t been able to make sense of why my mom didn’t confide in me. Honestly, I have been on a sure road to acceptance since I dreamed of my mom a few months ago. Now, I am just in awe of the direction that my life is headed and how I can’t help but to thank her for loving me and taking time enough with me to ensure that I am a fair person in such an uncertain world. I hope she knows how much she really taught me and I think she would be proud of all the lessons I have retained and put into practice today. There was never a time that she made me feel like an embarrassment for having transitioned. She loved me unconditionally, even when she chastised me for things completely unrelated. With me, it has always been my words that people simply could not ever take. I have to say I do still use my words to this very day, often to build up and when necessary to tear down infrastructures that are deeply vested in oppression.

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