Getting Pregnant and HIV: HIV+ single woman or HIV+ woman in (serodiscordant or seroconcordant) same-sex relationship

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There are several different options for reducing the chances of passing on HIV while trying to get pregnant. If you are an HIV+ single woman or an HIV+ woman in a same-sex relationship seeking information on getting pregnant, the options below will help you understand what might be the best for you, and to prepare for discussions with your health care provider. (For other options, you can return to the main "Getting Pregnant and HIV" page.)

Home Insemination

This involves using donor sperm from someone you know who does not have HIV. Have the man ejaculate (cum) into a clean cup or condom. If using a condom, be sure to use a condom without spermicide. Then, using a syringe (without a needle) or baster, you suck up the semen and insert the syringe or baster deep inside the vagina. Once the syringe or baster is deep inside the vagina, you squeeze out and deposit the semen. It is often recommended that the woman lie down for 20 minutes after inserting the semen to improve fertility. You can get non-needle syringes at most any pharmacy as they are commonly used to give medicines to babies. Your HIV provider may also have some to give you.

Depending on the state in which you live, you may be able to use donor sperm from a sperm bank for home insemination. Sperm banks collect and store samples from sperm donors. Donors are most often anonymous, and they are tested for fertility and diseases to make sure the sperm is safe and able to result in pregnancy. If using donor sperm from a sperm bank for home insemination is possible in your state, ask your sperm bank for instructions on how to use the sperm at home.

It is more effective to use home insemination when a woman is fertile, or when she is ovulating. Ovulation occurs when an egg is released from the woman's ovary and usually happens about two weeks before a woman starts her menstrual period. Insemination during the "fertile window" – usually one to two days before ovulation and one day after ovulation – has a greater chance of success. For more information on understanding and tracking your fertility, visit:

Assisted Reproduction

This means that a sperm fertilizes an egg with the help of a medical technique or therapy. Assisted reproduction (sometimes called "assisted reproductive technology" or ART) is useful when the future parent(s) require help to prevent HIV transmission between partners, are using donor sperm, or are having difficulty getting pregnant at home because of fertility issues. Unfortunately, few facilities offer assisted reproduction to HIV+ patients, and few health insurance plans cover it. There are several types of assisted reproduction:

  • Intra-vaginal insemination (IVI): Very similar to home insemination, only done in a clinic.
  • Intra-uterine insemination (IUI): Semen (sperm and seminal fluid) is drawn up into a narrow tube, which is then inserted through the cervix into the uterus (womb). The semen is deposited in the uterus, where fertilization of the egg can occur.
  • In-vitro fertilization (IVF): The woman takes fertility drugs to help her prepare eggs (also called ripening her eggs). When eggs are ready (or ripe), they are removed from the ovary and put in a dish with sperm. Once there is a fertilized egg (embryo), it is put back in the woman's uterus.
  • Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI): This is a specific type of IVF in which a sperm is injected directly into an egg using a very thin needle. When a fertilized egg occurs, it is returned to the woman's uterus. This method is used when a man's sperm do not swim well or are not normally shaped.

Egg Donation

This involves using IVF and eggs donated by another woman, who is checked for fertility and diseases. The woman who is donating eggs takes fertility drugs to help her prepare eggs (also called ripening her eggs). When eggs are ready (or ripe), they are removed from her ovary and put in a dish with sperm. Once there is a fertilized egg (embryo), it is put in your womb (uterus). Although this method uses the eggs of a woman who is HIV-negative, it is still important for you to take HIV drugs to prevent passing HIV on to your child during pregnancy or childbirth.

Surrogacy

Your egg is fertilized using IVF or ICSI, then transferred to another woman's womb. This woman is often called a surrogate. The surrogate carries and gives birth to your child. If the surrogate is HIV-negative, there is zero risk of mother-to-child transmission of HIV. Although it is biologically possible to have an HIV+ woman's fertilized egg implanted in an HIV-negative surrogate, you may encounter several legal or regulatory challenges to this option for getting pregnant. Even if this option is legal in your state, it may be difficult to find fertility clinics or surrogacy centers willing to provide this service to HIV+ women.

Adoption

Offering a permanent family to a parentless child may be an option if having biologic offspring is not a good choice for you. Adoptions can be done within the US or internationally. Some agencies and/or countries may have prejudices against HIV+ people adopting children. In addition, adoption may be more difficult as a single woman or as a woman in a same-sex relationship given different states' and/or international adoption rules. Some states and countries do not allow single or same-sex parents to adopt. Even in those that allow it, there are often prejudices against single or same-sex parents and in favor of heterosexual married couples.

Finding a Provider and Building a Support Network

Regardless of your HIV status, choosing to have a child can be a very difficult and very exciting decision. While having a supportive relationship with a knowledgeable health care provider is a good idea for any potential parent, for people living with HIV it is even more important. A friendly health care provider can talk with you about many issues around pregnancy and having children: which conception option is right for you, appropriate HIV treatments for you and/or your partner, whether to disclose your HIV status to others (including other providers, your child's pediatrician, additional friends and family), and how to handle the stigma and fear around being HIV+ and pregnant.

Unfortunately, it can be difficult to find a friendly health care provider who is knowledgeable about HIV and pregnancy. Some health care providers simply are not aware of the wealth of information about pregnancy planning for their HIV+ patients. Perhaps even more challenging, though, are the judgmental attitudes still held by many health care providers. When The Well Project's Founder, Dawn Averitt, asked providers about getting pregnant, she faced some very negative reactions before she found a wonderful provider who supported her desire to have children. For more about Dawn's experience in trying to get pregnant, and subsequently having two healthy HIV-negative daughters, please read the links below:

The Well Project has started a list of friendly family planning providers who are informed about pregnancy planning for HIV+ people. Even though the providers listed might not be in your area or town, it might be worth a call or email to answer any questions you might have or for possible referrals. HIV-positive pregnant women, their exposed infants, and HIV-affected couples seeking safer conception options can also contact Shannon Weber (sweber@nccc.ucsf.edu) for referrals to local providers.

Given the existing stigma against HIV+ people having children, you may encounter judgmental responses from others. Therefore, it is important that you build a strong support network of loving family, friends, and providers. Your support network can help you make good decisions and get through the negative, sometimes disheartening moments. If you do not have a good number of friends and family who support you, you may consider starting your own support group; for more information, see our article on Starting a Support Group.

Ultimately, you get to choose when and whether to have children. You deserve to be treated with respect and given access to the information necessary to make an informed decision and plan for your future.

Additional Resources

Select the links below for additional material related to getting pregnant and HIV.

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