I honestly didn’t think I...

I honestly didn’t think I would find someone to love me now that I have HIV.

How was/is it for you disclosing your status to your partner?

Have you ever been afraid to disclose?

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Comments

12 comments

Submitted by Red40something
2

Having HIV doesn't change the fact that you are worth love! Never forget that and never settle for less. Disclosure brings understandable nervousness! The first few times I did my anxiety was so high! But I have also learned NOT to feed into that anxiety. My HIV is my truth. Potential partners can either accept the full truth about me, or not. I won't let it change how I feel about myself.

Submitted by Red40something
0

There really isn't a set time, it's really about how you feel and how comfortable you are. I tend to tell people as soon as I feel like there could be a connection, but not always. That way they don't feel like I'm wasting their time, and I don't get mine wasted because they can't deal. Other people wait until they're in an actual relationship. The other person's personality plays a factor into it. There's a lot of different who what when and why's. At the end of the day the basic things that I would encourage, are that you feel safe both emotionally and physically when you disclose, that you feel like this person is someone who NEEDS to know. If you're not fully open with your status, is this a person that you can trust with your disclosure?
The biggest thing I can tell you, and if you don't believe anything else I say believe this-- When it comes to disclosure how you feel about yourself has everything to do with how the majority of people will see you. If you go into the conversation full of negative self-talk and thinking that they will reject you, that will reflect. But if you go into the conversation knowing that you are you, and HIV is HIV, even IF they happen to reject you, you know it's about the virus and not you.
Does that help?

Submitted by livingmylife09
2

Disclosing my status to my boyfriend was the hardest thing I have ever done. Our relationship moved very fast and within 2 months of dating we had fallen in love with each other. And things were also heating up with us being intimate with each other. And just before we started having sex was when I chose to disclose my health status. The way I chose to do it was I told him my entire life story of how I was born with HIV. I also printed off a lot of material of U=U from reputable websites and gave them to him to take home and read at his leisure. And after he processed it over the next few days, he decided that he truly was in love with me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. And now we are happily married with 2 beautiful children. I used to think I would never get married because of my HIV status. But if someone truly loves you for who you are, they will accept you for what you have.

Submitted by Brittany 2006
1

Hello. I have a few questions for you because I'm kind of in the same situation and I need your insight on something. I hope there's another way we can communicate beside this. Thank you

Submitted by sologirl
1

Hey girl,
HIV doesn’t erase your humanity. We are created to be with another, to be touched and loved.

I will say it’s terrifying to disclose and it’s not something I do easily or right off the bat. Often times I see a different face of the person I thought I knew when I disclose.

Love is really hard to find period.
Finding it with HIV is even more difficult. Just make sure you’re not treated as a lesser person because of your status.

Much love,
Sologirl

Submitted by StaciGirl
2

Thank you all for talking with me with this. It’s so hard to do and yes I’ve told guys that I that I was interested in and they made me feel like they were too but that wasn’t the case. One just came right out and said well since we can’t do anything ???‍♀️??‍♀️ Well later he called and I told him yes we could because you would have to put on a condom and you can’t get hiv from kissing etc. so now he sends me messages in my dm’s ? whatever

Submitted by Jonique85
1

BLOCKED!!!! Is what he would have been. Lol. But thank you for sharing. Isn’t it sad that men just instantly assume we can’t do anything once you disclose. Its like hello go read a book or ask questions dang lol

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