Escalice's blog

This past March marked 8 years since my diagnosis. This year I had the idea to try and get some positive and powerful women to walk with me. On Sunday, May 21st, I invite any of you ladies who live in the New York area or are close by and want to travel, to do the NYC AIDS Walk with me.

Who told God I was that tough? I'm really not though. I've been through a lot of stuff in my life. A lot I have yet to share. Right now I'm going through one of the toughest battles I've endured.

On Sunday May 15th I had the absolute pleasure of being able to attend the first in-person AIDS Walk in New York City since Covid first began. I'm so glad it's back.

After putting it off for the last couple of years because of Covid and moving, and my anxiety around doctors and fearing bad news, I have finally begun catching up with my well appointments. I ALWAYS make my HIV care appointments and am 100% adherent to my meds, but I have fallen behind with other aspects of my health. Last week I had my first Pap smear in over two years. I loathe Pap smears. When I was around 19 or 20 I had received an abnormal Pap smear and was told I had cervical dysplasia. That result led to me having a Pap smear done every 6 months for 2 years or so along with biopsies...

I've experienced grief a few times throughout my life for different reasons. I was not prepared for the grief I would feel after my grandfather died

Yesterday I had my first doctor's appointment for my HIV care in a year. Between the pandemic, remote learning with my daughter, and moving from NYC to upstate, life has been hectic to say the least. Before this I had been going to the same clinic since my diagnosis six years ago. It was affiliated with the local hospital and overall was not the best. I went through three doctors in my first three years there, the last being my doctor up until recently. Most times I went there, the wait for my appointment would be an hour long or so (even when I was just going back for my results). The nurses...

I recently decided to get the Covid vaccine. When it first started being administered I decided I was going to wait to see what happened to everyone else who got it. I didn't trust it. I felt it was rushed, it was still being tested (basically on us). I was scared. I was scared of what might happen to me if I were to get this vaccine. I'm not one to take medicine like that. I don't even get the flu shot. A lot of people will say, "well you should be scared to get Covid". I did have Covid; my whole family did. We started showing symptoms the week after the entire world went into lockdown. Third...

I've spoken briefly about finding out I was living with HIV when I got pregnant with my daughter, but I haven't really spoken on the entire experience. Although I have come to terms with my status and even embrace it, thinking back to that time can still be painful. I know full and well I did not receive the full support or services I should have from my medical care provider. I think of how different and probably how much more at peace I could have been, especially while being pregnant, had I received the support I needed early on. I want to share my experience in hopes that it can help other...

Yesterday as we celebrated World AIDS Day, I reflected a little bit on my own journey of having HIV living with me. I have been HIV positive for 5 years. I have been undetectable since I began treatment and have been fortunate enough to be healthy and thriving. I know very well how lucky I am to have been diagnosed when I was. To be diagnosed when there is so much knowledge about HIV, when treatment is proven to work and guarantees us a longer healthier life, and when now we know that U=U and and we cannot transmit the virus to those we care about. I'm very lucky. I always think about those...

It's been a while since I've written anything. I've just been so caught up with life these last four months, just like I'm sure you all have been as well. I count my blessings every day knowing that in these difficult and uncertain times there are so many people who have no income, no food, no sense of security. I have a home, I have food, I have my family. The mental and emotional toll is most likely all the same across the board. Being a mother throughout this all has been a challenge all its own. My daughter is four years old and had her first year of school, Pre-K, cut short. I watched her...