It shakes me to the core when I think about death. I never used to be afraid before. I question myself what am I really afraid of. I'm not sure what I am afraid of. Is it death or is it the suffering...
I’m still single and dating has become a nightmare overnight. I used to be comfortable disclosing to my “potentials”, but not anymore. I find myself swinging between “should I?” and “should I not?”...
We had yet another birthday party in the office. Once again, I was assigned plates, napkins and forks. I really do believe that my coworkers are afraid of the fact that I have HIV and do not want to...
A month into my marriage I discovered that I was 10 weeks pregnant and HIV positive. My husband of one month tested negative. I was shattered. Why me? I have always been a good girl. The doctor tried...
In a perfect world it wouldn’t matter if I was HIV+. As you all know, this isn’t a perfect world. I came to realize this better the weeks following my diagnosis. I told my family. They are my family...
I’m the person who thought I would kick the bucket from addiction in that crack house, where I lived and died on a daily basis, seven years ago. I’m the person who had a good job but couldn’t get to...
My name is Jae, I am 39 years old and have been HIV+ for 18 years. I am a wife, mother to 3 boys, an employee, and full-time student. I live in Southern California, USA. I work in the medical field, the city I work in I come in contact with men that are HIV+. I just don’t have anything in common with them. First of all they are men. Second, most of them are gay. I am neither. I have a family and have been married for 21 years. My husband is in law enforcement and I was a stay at home mother for many years. He is a bit of a private person and has suppressed my participation in activism. So reluctantly I have agreed to forgo being a face to the masses to sitting back and Blogging about my own experiences.
As I sit here today, I am reminded of how precious life truly is for each of us. A recent tragedy in the family resulted in the all-too-soon death of a child from an automobile accident and the...
I don’t know how other girls like me react to stigma and injustices we suffer because of our statuses. I usually beat myself up. Sometimes, depending on the source of the stigma, I’d loathe myself. But a recent incident opened my eyes to a whole new dimension of reaction. If I am responsible and suffer the consequences of my own actions, why then don’t I let other people do the same? The stigma might be directed to me, buts it’s not about me. It’s about the other person’s ignorance and misinformation, so then why must I punish myself because they are ignorant? It does not make sense at all.
Who am I? My family know me as the Diva, the strongest HIV+ woman they've ever seen. What they don't know is what happens when I switch off the lights and close the door, I suddenly am not so strong...