Being alone

I'd like to believe that I am a strong young woman who's just simply trying to live her life the best way possible....yes, I encounter challenges on a daily basis but that does not keep me down. It's been merely two weeks since I came back to cape town and I have been away for 6 weeks due to june recess, leaving my poor boyfriend alone. Things are not looking good between us since I came back and I think it's safe to say we finally reached the dead end (nothing to do with HIV) thus we are breaking up. Last year when I was diagnosed, this man stuck by me even though he's negative. Luckily for me, my status was never an issue, but every time we'd have an argument, the little voice in my mind always wondered: had I not had HIV would he have treated me better? He treated me exceptionally well, that's  without a doubt, but I still had those thoughts that were always lurking when nobody was around. Because of the love I have/had for this man, I trusted him enough to be dependent on him and face the world with him. I never thought he would leave my side so soon and the thought of being alone sent shivers down my spine. It's kinda funny though, because before I never had problems with being alone, but after I was diagnosed I feared being alone because I thought no man would stick with a positive girl especially when he's negative. And by that,  I realize I sold myself short.....NEVER again will I look down upon myself. Yes I'm still scared of being single, but I'm taking baby steps and all shall be well!

P.S. I'm still grateful for the amazing support my mother has given me. God bless that woman for me!

Tags: 

like0

Comments

Machelle's picture

I feel the same way you do.. I to know I am a strong woman. I am glad I read what you wrote atleast I know I am not alone.

like0

Tanila's picture

So much respect for u young lady!!We need more people like u <3. Recently discovered my bf is HIV positive and i have no idea what to do or start. He has never disclosed to me. I have nt tested. I have nt confronted him either. Its scary! But with people like u and a positive mindset we can overcome HIV! Big up!

like0

dasassidiva's picture

Ladies Its important that we practice self love amongst ourselves remember that by contracting HIV it does not mean we committed a crime, we did what everybody does..why should we blame ourselves for the inevitable?????? Tanila I think its best you get testet and take it from there don't forget there's life after HIV as cliche as it may sound....its true and michele Its good to know that I'm not the only one feeling like this

like0

Blog themes: 

Do you get our newsletter?

admin's picture

Sign up for our monthly Newsletter and get the latest info in you in box.

seventh name
Mon, 9/29/2014 - 4:09pm
Fri, 9/26/2014 - 12:23am
Fri, 9/26/2014 - 12:20am

Learn why nutrition is so important to HIV+ people, how it is measured, and several ways to stay healthy by eating smarter.

Judith Auerbach, Ph.D., is a public sociologist, independent science and policy consultant, and adjunct professor in the School of Medicine at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF) who has demonstrated a lifelong commitment to helping women with HIV.

Learn how HIV+ women can benefit from changes that are part of the Affordable Care Act – from better access to care to no-cost preventive tests.

Browse Blogs by Theme