I also fear being alone. Not just right now, but in the future. I’m scared that I will be sick and unable to care for myself. The one person who would have helped me will be gone. I'm scared not having a spouse to laugh, cry and comfort one another. I'm scared to try to date again. Quite frankly, if this doesn't work, I'm done with relationships! I can't imagine trying to find someone and disclsoing that I'm HIV positive. I respect and admire those who are strong enough women to do so, but I know that I am not. I would rather be alone than face the rejection and judgement.
I’m not sure what I will do yet…. stay or go…but I know I’m scared. I’m scared for my son, I’m scared for my husband and I’m scared for myself. I pray that the answer will be clear and reveal itself soon. In the meantime, I can simply say that I am terrified.