Yes! I now know better because, just like many HIV+ women, I thought that men like us would probably treat us better and be a little kinder because they could relate to what was happening in our lives...but sisters do not be fooled!
I met Dan (not real name) about two years ago when I and my son's father decided to separate, because in our ignorance, he thought he needed an HIV free woman and I thought the best for me would be an HIV+ partner. Dan seemed like an angel on earth so I thought, but i was terribly mistaken.
A few months into our relationship I conceived, which was a highlight for us, because we all desired other children. I had a son and he had one too. Unfortunately for me, though, as Fate would have it, I carried my baby till 9 months but about two days to my C-Section, I had an abruption of the Placenta that resulted in a still birth.
After the loss, Dan told me that he loved me despite what had happened but believe me, hardly six months after as I later learned, he started seeing someone else and didn't tell me. The saddest bit was I didn't find out, because i trusted him, until the 24th of December last year when he sent me an email (he
couldn't even tell me to my face) telling me that he had met someone else a few months back who could give him a child and she was already pregnant for him. You don't have to imagine how I spent my Christmas but by God's grace I am much better today.
From my experience, I have realized that because these men are HIV+, it does not change what they are made of and so they will not necessarily be better people or more sympathetic. They will hurt you regardless. It is better I believe, to be open minded and not necessarily seek out those that may be HIV+
and for those that really need a positive partner, just be even more cautious.
I have also realized that Love can be enjoyed even with an HIV negative partner. My son's father, just like me, realized that Love that is true and beautiful is above HIV because we both failed in our attempts to meet people that were like us.
We are trying to rebuild our lives again and are one day at a time picking up the pieces.
Am glad I went through this experience because I appreciate those men that are HIV negative and are still willing to love us.