Approximately 55% of women, cis & trans alike living with HIV have endured violence at the hands of a partner or someone they disclosed their status to.
Women exposed to violence because of their status are far less likely to receive or seek medical care and are 5x more likely to suffer from PTSD.
These numbers only further prove the dire need for interventions to combat violence against HIV positive women and the overall challenges faced by those living with HIV.
Everything stated above are just words. Words that fall short of encompassing the heart wrenching reality of HIV positive women in the midst of navigating a life long diagnosis and the violence it may bring.
What do these stats mean?
Who are these women at the hands of these abusers?
Why should this matter to anyone else?
Often times when we read statistics of violence towards groups of people we don’t relate to or personally know. The severity and weight of this unequalled hardship may not seep into us as it would with those we have commonalties with. Yes, you may feel a tinge of discomfort as your eyes race across the screen, but I ask you to sit with this pain and ponder for just a moment what it feels like to be this woman.
She is the mother of your child’s best friend, clerk at your favorite grocery store, unhoused person you pass on the street, nurse on your team, student you teach, or the author of an article you come across online. She may lack the resources, knowledge, or strength to find care; she may be in need of guidance in a socio-economic system not catered to “people like her”. She’s told she’s toxic, an object to be labeled “dirty” or “clean”. She aches, cries, and suffers in an institution that already devalues her fellow sisters as a whole. As she goes through the internal turmoils and throes of the pain that often accompanies HIV she longs for the things that make her feel human. She craves love, sex, companionship, care, and affection - but what potential cost comes with receiving these innately human qualities so taken for granted by non positive people ? For if she doesn’t disclose her status in a certain state, she’s committing aggravated assault, yet if she does disclose her status she may be met with physical violence from the person on the other side of her vulnerability. Damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t.
Let’s examine the person on the other side of her tender share. The one who perceives women like her as less than and undeserving of basic human decency due to fear driven information dated before the turn of the millennium. The one engulfed with fear and anger fueled by the absence of societal compassion and respect thus responding with physical violence. Reducing their reactions to some primal form of retaliation in the absence of communication and most importantly, updated information on the spread of HIV. A heart breaking example for us to reflect back on the chilling (inaccurate) words of Larry Dunn Jr., the man who murdered Cicely Bolden after she disclosed her status to him. “She killed me, so I killed her.”
Although she loves like you, has goals like you, emotes like you, makes mistakes like you, and is as equally human as you, because of disparities in care and outdated information she may experience violence far more than you. What activist, allies and organizations are trying to shed light on is how we can empower girls like her to access adequate care and resources and how the general public can stay informed and share updated knowledge in the fight against HIV and AIDS and the stigma attached.
I urge you to share this post as you never know who could be in this place searching for guidance see attached link for resources.
https://www.thewellproject.org/hiv-information/resources-intersection-women-hiv-and-violence
