In my previous blogs I spoke a lot about what life was like being diagnosed with HIV. I spoke of the shame and guilt I felt along with the shame people placed upon me because of this disease. I hated my fate, I hated the man and I hated me. I stopped living, dreaming and hoping. It wasn’t until I began to deal with the issues that impacted life that led me to HIV that I began to live again.
You know the funny part in all of this? HIV called me to an arena I never wanted to be a part of. But I felt I had to do something because there were so many who felt the same as I did. I wanted them to feel better and quite honestly, I still wanted to feel better too. And the reality is I still was healing from life’s devastating blow. My life was swept up like I was in the eye of a tornado. I was traveling all over the country speaking, doing interviews, breathing, living and still dreaming. Dreaming of a normal life and that was exactly what it was for me; a dream. And I still felt on some level, because of the lack of forgiving myself completely that this dream was not to be had by me.
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