It's interesting how time really passes; this is a piece that I wrote 14 years ago. I was so young and, of course, hopeful, as a young woman living with HIV by then. Let me change language a bit in my blog, or as I call them, "my thoughts on paper".
Through HIV, so many lives of our loved ones have been lost over the years. It used to be so scary, it was hopeless back in the days. As I have indicated that I wrote this piece 14 years ago, and this was before even the launch of U=U which has just turned 10 years this year. WOW, we have made progress. I remember when ARVs became available. It helped people who felt hopeless. I remember it so well because when it came, we used to go to Oshakati hospital at 5am because it was the only hospital that had the life-saving treatment back in 2004.
What would happen to all the people living with HIV if it was not for this treatment? I still ask myself this question! I guess the world would be empty by now, scary right? This is why we need to ensure that we have resources to have all PLHIV on treatment and to prevent new HIV infections. I am full of so many emotions as I rewrite this, because many PLHIV were disowned by their families and lived homeless because of HIV-related stigma. Things were so bad back then.
I wrote this when I was a 26-year-old young mother and I am rewriting it now when I am 40 years old. Has this gotten better after all that? Yes, as a woman living with HIV, a mother of two HIV negative children, a person who has viral suppression, a career woman and a wife who continues to study, I would say, we have made much progress.
It of course continues breaking my heart because of so many lives we have lost and PLHIV who continue not to access treatment. When I was young, HIV destroyed many houses and left many children homeless and helpless navigating the stigma that lived in our communities. But the PLHIV never rested, we continue using our shaking voices, our lived experience to make things better for all of us. We did this! We shifted minds! We were made as examples and case studies in this journey, and we continue to, because we are determined to end AIDS by 2030.
But again, what do I mean: "life-saving treatment brought hope to people living with HIV"? Think of me as an 18-year-old pregnant girl living with HIV. All you hear from the community is "You have AIDS, and you will die soon." Will this give you peace? No, and this was my reality and that of so many PLHIV. However, years later, we are here, we are alive, we are thriving and we continue to be change makers. This is our story, a scary one but of course a hopeful one now because there is live-saving treatment that should be accessible to all PLHIV. Because of stigma, community made us believe that our lives were short and that we were punished for things only known to them, I think. But treatment changed the game, and we are still here.
"I am a believer and a dreamer, and I believe that everything is possible and that you can do anything and everything." This was me 14 years ago. But it's true, I am a believer. It's exciting to see myself after 30 years of living with HIV. The progress made in the HIV journey has made it possible for PLHIV to be hopeful and build families today, hence partners/donors should be truthful to committing more funds toward ending AIDS. We all have parts to play.
My thoughts on paper
Helena Nangombe
Namibia
