sharonm10's blog

Well today at 13:07 (1:07 pm), I took a home pregnancy test and the result was positive. For five years I thought I had this condom thing perfected. I am scared, shocked and all the other words that can go with it. I don’t know if my body will be strong enough. I still need to break the news to my husband (who might be happy, who knows) and my doctor (who is going to throw a fit). You guys are the first to know, probably because I don’t have to explain the fears that are in my mind right now to you. I trust God will hold my hand and guide me through this journey. "Can't Give Up Now" by Mary...

It shakes me to the core when I think about death. I never used to be afraid before. I question myself what am I really afraid of. I'm not sure what I am afraid of. Is it death or is it the suffering in the eyes of the people I have watched in countless AIDS documentaries that has turned me into a coward? Whatever it is that frightens me so much, I know one thing, while I'm here I'm going to live, live, live...and while I'm at it, do everything I can to stay healthy. "A coward dies many times before his death. The valiant never taste of death but once." William Shakespeare. Fear be gone!! Mano

A month into my marriage I discovered that I was 10 weeks pregnant and HIV positive. My husband of one month tested negative. I was shattered. Why me? I have always been a good girl. The doctor tried to explain this medical mystery but it did not register. In my mind, no black, South African Zulu male was going to stay with an HIV positive woman, especially when he is not. The day I gave birth, I looked at him and said, this is your last chance...walk away now. Five years later he is still by my side and we have a very healthy little man. On that fateful day in 2004 when I discovered my status...