Of Earth and Water

I've lived with severe depression and anxiety for most of my life, so it's not at all anything new to me, but what I've been going through this past year seems so much stronger than anything I've ever experienced before. Depression so strong and overwhelming that nearly my entire life has ground to a halt. I struggle to find the will to get out of bed every day. To be sure, the depression I've struggled with my entire life has never needed reason or logic, I'm used to that, but I've been on a regimen of medications that have worked for me for years, along with maintaining a relationship with an excellent therapist. I've reconnected with my children and even my ex-wife, who all stopped talking to me after our divorce three years ago. I've made great progress in repairing a once rocky relationship with my current partner and I've brought a chaotic environment that was my home under control. Everything seems to be going great, yet I feel something like I've never felt before. I've struggled for the longest time to understand what it is and I think I might have figured it out: I feel shame.

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