It's been a long time since I've felt down on myself about my status. It took me almost two years to finally tell someone and when I did, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me. I've used my status to fuel myself to do better and be better. I used education to help me understand HIV and what being HIV positive meant for me. Overall I have felt pretty good about it. I take my medication every day and always have (with the occasional act of forgetfulness). I have been undetectable for almost as long as I've been positive (5 years in just a couple of weeks) and my CD4 count has always been pretty good. I've changed a lot mentally over the years for the better. I have been taking better care of myself more than I ever have in my entire life.
But recently I've been feeling down and I'm not entirely sure why. I think part of it is that my health insurance renewal is coming up right now, and though I won't get into the details of it, it's gotten a little complicated, and because of that, I'm scared.
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