Mental Illness, It's Not in My Head


KatieAdsila headshot.

I know a lot of people don't respect mental illness, they think it's controllable or all in your head, but I know that that's not the reality. I've struggled with mental health issues of some kind for as long as I can remember. I've had suicidal ideations since I was nine years old, I live with severe depression that doesn't even need a reason to bring me to my knees and often crippling anxiety that disregards logic. That's just to start, never mind the post traumatic stress disorder or mild obsessive compulsive behavior.

Lately I've been really struggling with my depression, feeling overwhelmed and dark. It feels like death to a heart. That's the best I can describe it, it's so debilitating and soul crushing, and these strong emotions can come and go with the wind as they don't need reason. These feelings control you like a puppet master pulling all your strings. It's exhausting and humiliating to be so enslaved to your own mind that seems intent upon your demise.

To read this blog in its entirety, click here.

A Girl Like Me


1 comment

Submitted by Driftwoodchime

I totally get it. Most likely the only people that will understand how your feeling. Is someone that has felt the same way. For a long time ive tried differant medications that make me worse. I have to ptsd events plus becoming positive in 2007. Medical cannabis is the only thing that gives me relief. The point im getting at is hiv medications are a huge effect of the ways we feel. When we tell ourselves that we felt the ways we have our whole lives and then after taking these meds all our feelings get worse it is a major side effect. I wish you lots of good energy and a good new year! I have found for myself sometimes we need to learn how to cope and it can take along time Peace be with you! Dont let this shameful society and its characters bring you down. Stand tall and strong and believe in yourself. It is the only way past this for us. Focus on crafts or new hobbies so you can put as much of these things behind you. I dont like to lecture or talk to people like im better but i have felt so alone and have felt no support in anyway from people around me. Its just as if we were poisoned with something that makes everyone else perfect and were just the ones that so happened to contract this.If people dont understand you or act like your crazy or differant it is only there mistake and self centered ways of not caring about anyone else. It can also be alot of people feel down themselves and they dont have enough positive energy within themselves to help shed some for you. Take a deep breath and try to focus on all the elements of this place we live and how thankful we know we are for that and we cant and wont be brought down by this vicious place












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