Accepting what is

Hey all,  

I just realised that I have been looking for answers in all the wrong places. Making my life harder by not accepting what is, wishing for something else. But now I have come to some kind of sense. I have lived with hiv for 32 years, since I was 16. I now know and  feel that my place is within our community. This is where I can be myself fully and share my story and most of all Heal. So I have signed up for some activities here in Sweden happening later this summer and it feels so good. I can not wish my Hiv away, I need to accept it. Accept that this is my life. I am going to work with my selfacceptance,  my selflove  and feelings of shame. You know that shames best friend is silence , when you bottle up all bad things that happpened to you, the shame grows. But if you share your experiences , the shame will eventually go away. There is no shame in being hiv-positive, the shame is not mine to carry. I want to be that person I needed when I was younger. If I can help someone feel less lonely , Im happy. My life has purpose. So I wish for anyone who can relate that you accept yourself and your life as it is. Please reach out if you need someone to talk to. The shame is not yours to carry.  We are stronger together 

Much love, Kat <3



Hard to accept

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You know I have been living with HIV for 2 years and I thought I could handle this and be happy but I am just now finding out that I cant do this and its slowly freaking me out. I don't want to put myself in a depression state but knowing that I have a secret I am hiding from everyone is not letting me live. I was just diagnosed w hip osteonecrosis and no real concerns until I got in to see the specialist and she immediately jumped to HIV being the leading cause of this condition in my case. So leaving there I felt to broken so fragile so weak and angry at my body for it honestly I didn't know who to brake down and talk to because no one knows what it feels like to find out the hard way that doctors couldn't find out what was killing me until I was basically in my death bed to go threw situations for the rest of my life because of it just reminds me how hard it is to live. So I am here to get to that point you are in ACCEPTANCE!
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