Haven't posted in while I have been going through motions these last past months. Doing my job as a Advocate/Peer in my job. Trying to smile through this mess but inside screaming help Im drowning . I lived with HIV for 13 years and im sure for most that is not long time but for me it is , it has held me captive for 13 Years . I try to be positive person in room say to others struggling it will be ok you can live through it an you can but there are some hidden trauma's and things that happen to us . I dont know im just tired .