Hi I am new in here

Hi all I´m Kat. I was diagnosed in january 1990, age 16. I live in Sweden.  I hardly remember the 90s , it was a really difficult time for me. The chock of testing positive was big. I had no clue. I was so afraid of telling anyone and feeling so lonely and scared. At that time I was the youngest the knew of who had contracted the virus via sex. We really didnt know much about hiv in the late 80s early 90s. The pics we saw were people with aids, but no one really knew how a hiv+ looked like. I know I didnt. Its been really hard at times. I got sick in 95, first I got depressed and nearly killed myself. Later that year i got pnemonia and after that I had a psychosis. I was really ill , I have memory loss for like 2 months. I was really thin and  I have seen pics of me then, my eyes looked dead.  In february 1996 it slowly shifted , I came back to life. The had put AZTin my drinks. I remember they were giving me a glass of coke, when I tasted it, it was really awful. I refused to drink it, they later told it has meds in it. They changed it to capsules. A few months later I got license from Paris to eat 3tc. Now Epivir .  And in May the new meds came. I got Crixivan and all the sideeffects. It was so awful. I felt like I was living in the toilet. I gained 30kilos in two months. That is like 66 pounds. Lucky for me the drugs worked, my t-cells went up and the virus down. I only ate them for like 6months I could not bare with the sideeffects. When I was off meds I got manic  and then later on deeply depressed.This happened 2-3 times , until I finally found meds i Could tolerate in 1999. So since then I have been medicating more than 20 y now. My numbers are good. For a few years I thought I was Bi-polar , but I am not. What happened was that when I was off meds the virus got to my brain and caused manic episodes and they are folllowed by depression. I was relieved when I found out I was not. The hiv diagnosis was enough to handle. So uptil today I have been home since 1996 , with early retirement.  I am now studying to be an assistant nurse. I have been involved with groups here where I live, but sadly I didnt feel support or I couldnt relate to many of them. I have a few friends that also are hiv +.  Since hiv came in to my life so early. I have had to build my life around and with it. And also having the fears of stigma hanging over me I have been scared to share my statuse. But most people in my life knows about my statuse. I dont really know how to live and not include my hiv. I want to be able to accept myself 100% . I know I am more than my diagnosis. It has been my longest companion. For so many years I was so lost and self destructive. But for the past 7-8 years , I think after I turned 40, something inside me happened. I started to take better care of me. If i am not going to die I want to live my best life ever. Do what ever I can to feel my best. I want to encourage others living with hiv to not let that stop you. You do you and take care of yourself ,build your dream life. Dream big . I look forward to connecting with you in here. Thanks for reading so far . Stay safe and take care , Love Kat  32 + years living and thriving 

 

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You are a great survivor.

boseolotu's picture
Hi Kat, It is so beautiful and bold to have you share this inspiring experience. It is great to have you in the group, as I read through your blog, it just reminded me of where I was coming from. Before I too never had and support, but I was constantly giving Hope, care and support to other people living with HIV and AIDS. Even provide Homebase care and give partitive care to even those who have failed treatment. So my there why I am saying this, it is to let you know that you are doing and have done a great job. Also know that we are here for you. Sending you hugs. Love and light Bose
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Thank you Bose. Nice to meet

Kat's picture
Thank you Bose. Nice to meet you , Love Kat
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Hello Kat

tiffanyleslie34's picture
Im new to this blog as well. Ive started treatment this past February. I dont know if im experiencing side effects from meds or side effects from getting off my keto diet. ??? At first it seem like i was having mild strokes. I was feeling dizziness, faintness, mild shortness of breath, diarrhea, constipation, feeling hot WITHOUT a fever. Through all that ice cold water would subdued all thoses systems and make them go away like it never happened. Now at times i just feel hot at times along with mild dizziness. For some reason cold water does the trick. Last night while sleeping i felt hot all night and was sweating. For years i have dranked room temperature water because it hydrates you faster, but now if i drink it, i start feeling hot and weird. I still have an appetite, and drink plenty of fluids. I dont throw up, nor do i feel nausea anymore. Im currently on Biktarvy, but switching to Descovy+Tivicay to see if its the meds making me feel like this. I have went to the ER 5 times and every visit states try changing my meds because they cant find nothing wrong. I looked at my medical records myself and didn't see nothing wrong as well. I have got xrays, CT SCAN, ultrasound, and bloodwork done several times. I hope when i change my meds this week, that it will all go away. The meds are working. VL was 100,000 to 100. C4 went up a little bit. Im skeptical about changing my meds because they are working, but i did read that the meds im changing to will also include prevention of pneumonia and other infections. I have been healthy and never been hospitalized, never had bad numbers. Not a diabetic, and do not have high blood preesure. I asked my doctors why do i feel sick, if im healing? I have never took meds that make me feel bad while working per-say. I asked my doctors"are yall trying to kill me"??? I noticed when i take black seed oil it helps with constipation, and headaches. I guess this is my new lifestyle until they SOMEBODY comes out with a cure or vaccine for this mess. Trust me i have been begging to the Lord that he allow someone to cure us all. Nice to meet you by the way. Just know im praying for all of us to have better days while living this lifestyle.
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Marig2016 commented on When It Clicks

Thu, 11/25/2021 - 10:58pm
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Get basic information about a variety of approaches to treating the metabolic changes that may result from living with HIV or taking HIV drugs.

Lipodystrophy means abnormal fat changes. This article addresses treatments for fat loss, or lipoatrophy.

Get basic information about lipodystrophy: body shape changes, metabolic complications, and causes and treatment of fat loss and fat gain.

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