United States

I am HIV positive and work in the field of health care quality.  I keep my status private with the exception of need to know relationships.  I have two HIV negative kids that I haven't felt need to know.  This is what I have determined to be best for my famly.  Sometimes it's lonely.

I was diagnosed at 19 when my son was around 2 weeks old.  My daughter is approaching adolesence. I will be 38 soon. After my initial diagnosis I was very engaged with HIV support services geared towards women and I focused on the biological and social aspects of my disease while earning my BA.  My career started at 15 years old in fast food; transitioned to admin support; social work and on to health care quality and data analytics. I am twice divorced. First, a HIV negative spouse from my teen days. Then, a HIV postive spouse I met online and moved across the nation to live with after a few months. Both of those realationships escalated too quick and went on way too long.  My HIV status has played a big role in most of the big choices I have made since being diagnosed.

HIV effects my health and health care experiences, personal identiy, and how I am percieved by others. It impacts my realtionships; especially adult friendships. I don't have any new friends, just a few long distance ones that have lingered from my youth.  Working in healthcare hasn't helped.  I still hear stupid comments from colleauges that aren't stupid people...I don't share my status, and it's kind of a big deal so it's kind of a big gap.

It really really bothers me that AIDS jokes are still fair game in stand-up comedy and at get-togethers and I want to do something about it.

I am grateful for the pills I have swallowed for nearly 20 years, but I'd rather not host this lentivirus, so I my interest peaks but my eyes also roll everytime I hear of new research on a cure or vaccine.

This may read rather negatively, but I am typing this out with hope of making new friends and contibuting to the task of promoting the health and wellbeing of my HIV positive community in a way that I am comfortable with.

Thanks for reading!  Please say hi!


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