Angel S.'s blog

I'm never beat until I quit trying. It's been a week in my motel. No abuse, no drugs, I am climbing my way out of depression and being grateful for all I have.

I believe it when my street ministry lady and case worker tell me I'm falling into place not apart. Although it may feel overwhelming I don't dare become stagnant.

During the last two and a half years I have been silent, my voice quiet and non existent.... Today I adjust my sail and scream so I can clear my throat and begin to unload all the turbulence I have been navigating alone.

If you struggle with addiction, depression or mental health, please know how important you are and reach out. I shut down, now I need to relearn self love and self esteem.

Meet up with yourself in a whole new way. Change is hard and worth it.

A hard line in sand separating self love from disguises, sold as sparkles and knives. Presents all pretty dressed up for the show; rattles and sparkles acceptance is blurred, Somber breaths for the hurt of a word. Standing tall trees seated in Roots; even the branches can't tell each other's truth.

How to touch on this subject. The smiles feel like sugar. Validation is the aid in self esteem, essentially the acceptance in validation grows inner strength.

I can remember meeting you at Walgreens, teaching you to text. You were such a handsome mystery… You took to me. You took me in and showed me a love I would never have imagined existed. My heart skipped like a stone on water. Intrigued is where I went. I became alive. I learned trust from you and to this day I still know that feeling. Will I ever be able to show that back? I feel and it’s ok. I appreciate and learn each day. You’re amazing. How is it a girl like me has a beautiful man like you enter into her life? A moment in time I could never redo any better. I have been difficult to say the...

Love yourself. Lean on your truth. Aspire to be your best and then some. I know not why it's such a struggle. I accept it will happen. I am not afraid to die. I am actually afraid more of the world; the stigma, the nasty people, the way life just rolls on whether you are ready or not. This life for me has a purpose yet how can I prepare without giving myself a break? Yesterday passed and today is new. I find the situation ahead of me has a lot to do with myself, my choices, and my way of life. So on to good stuff, positive side. I have amazing blogs to read. I feel them with the writer. I am...

One early evening around eightish. Hell has broken the front door, kicked and damaged yet a whirl; a smile hangs on her heart.