I can remember meeting you at Walgreens, teaching you to text. You were such a handsome mystery… You took to me. You took me in and showed me a love I would never have imagined existed. My heart skipped like a stone on water. Intrigued is where I went. I became alive. I learned trust from you and to this day I still know that feeling. Will I ever be able to show that back? I feel and it’s ok. I appreciate and learn each day. You’re amazing. How is it a girl like me has a beautiful man like you enter into her life? A moment in time I could never redo any better. I have been difficult to say the...
Angel S.'s blog
Love yourself. Lean on your truth. Aspire to be your best and then some. I know not why it's such a struggle. I accept it will happen. I am not afraid to die. I am actually afraid more of the world; the stigma, the nasty people, the way life just rolls on whether you are ready or not. This life for me has a purpose yet how can I prepare without giving myself a break? Yesterday passed and today is new. I find the situation ahead of me has a lot to do with myself, my choices, and my way of life. So on to good stuff, positive side. I have amazing blogs to read. I feel them with the writer. I am...
One early evening around eightish. Hell has broken the front door, kicked and damaged yet a whirl; a smile hangs on her heart.
Mastermind; insulting lies to get that fix same rotation such a bitch. Love is not the same as trust. Never going back was the thought process. Never want to abandon your flesh She traded her for drugs and gratification, never did find that satisfaction. Leaving the trail of cold hearts and fire to believe the lies and fill that hole it's all spilling out of control. I miss you; I can't miss you more than I do. Sunshine blinds the eyes and makes a cocktail of the cries. Believing the words are easy. Walking the line sometimes is so cheesy. Now bad ass. Evil Cash. Glamorized ass. Pass pass pass...
#TheWellProject. Where it all came alive to me. Life. Dreams. U = U...
I can not change what I am not willing to face. Be authentic. Realizing that to be authentic one's secrets must be faced - head on. Secrets are an example of WHAT IS LACKING IN YOUR LIFE AND IN YOU. They show their heads in the shadows, frost covered reality. As Bruce Springsteen said, "Is that you baby or just a brilliant disguise?" To acknowledge ourselves for what we really are and not for what we allow others to see or believe helps to move one from self destructive behaviors (no longer useful to the purpose) into a walk down the road of honesty. Honesty is the only way to come face to...
I often relate the taking of a pill daily to reliving the trauma of, say, a horrific event, being in court telling your story of the rape, killing someone while drinking and driving, losing a child... At that moment every day that I take my pill, I am reminded I have survived another day with HIV. I am constantly reminded I have HIV. I CAN NEVER FORGET UNLESS I STOP TAKING MY MEDS WHICH WILL LEAD ME TO A QUICKER DEATH. Other than that thought, life is good. I use wine and weed to get through. Heehee, to each their own. We are reminded daily HIV is in us now we must stand head high, embrace our...
Children are clay in the trusted hands of a human creator, loaned to us for a small moment in this space we consume. (Let’s understand first, I will not be striving for political correctness.)
I don't even want to do this. I'm so selfish which makes understanding me difficult. I am also selfless to a fault. I draw lines. So enough about me. I wrote a blog a while back. Since I was nineteen you been giving us PLHIV shit about having HIV. Well I had a baby at seventeen. I was married at 22. I buried my first boyfriend to AIDS at 23. I buried my son and my marriage at 24. I walked away from motherhood. I hid behind my love to volunteer until 2006 when I started ARV treatment. Going to the clinic was all people needed to finally pin me down. I was stalked, chased, hit, humiliated. I...