I wanted to write about something beautiful, so I will start with me. In my life I struggle with things within; yet I have a fascinating full life. I have friends, family, coworkers and strangers who see the natural beauty I possess inside even when I am far from seeing anything that resembles light. I talked with my sister this morning; I love that girl to the moon and back. My sister and I have a relationship people dream of. It's real, it's wholesome and it's angry, full of love and support. I couldn't ask for a better friend ever. My mom has become that woman again who as a child I leaned...
Angel S.'s blog
So today I was reading blogs and looking at Facebook. I was troubled to see how many times people tell me I can hit them up if I need someone to talk to. My problem with this is when people try to control you for so long, asking for some to help is not as easy as it seems. The trust involved and vulnerability you must submit to is scary as hell. I am changing my perspective on how I see things; if I only think of the outcome as how it played out I am not giving myself the opportunities to find another way to a better outcome or solution. So I am sitting here in my new place with a roommate - a...
The current conditions create a safe place to get to know what makes me tick, happy, passionate... I have told more of my close friends on a one on one face to face talk that I live with HIV. I am owning my truth and I hope they will stay in my life. The reactions will not hinder my commitment to educating everyone I can and, most importantly, ME. However I must not play into the role of puppet or stigmatizer. I am seriously answering my own tough questions. What keeps me from seeing the potential I hold? Am I not the same, if not a stronger woman? For me, allowing others to place labels on me...
I hesitate to write, numb and joy are my feelings. The day started with fresh air, coffee and a walk at 630am. Since, I have had three completely different conversations where we discussed Long term survivor's day and how thinking back affects our personal being at this moment. For me, I see faces of loved ones taken way too soon, yet I am blanketed with love and courage being in this space at #HINAC3. My friends have different experiences then I. On many levels our stories are different, still our condition intersects us. We are thriving! Numb with joy and sad with sorrow. I want to express...
My year has been full of changes. I am willing to learn from mistakes; rebuilding can be fun. Today I awake to my granddaughter (12) and my mom. Mom cooks the best; we are having hash omelettes. Yum. I had a day yesterday. I was stressing over forgetting to properly prepare for this trip and I was not sure when my meds would arrive or if I could even get a refill without labs and seeing the clinic. I just read a blog from Mask S. King and it reminded me to be grateful to be alive no matter what challenges I may be experiencing. I have been through so much as have so many others. I am not...
Hello, it's been a minute since I wrote a blog. I am reminded of Long Term Survivors Day as it approaches. I was diagnosed in 1997. I suspected until yesterday I was given this condition through a sex partner as a teenager. My first boyfriend died of AIDS-related complications in 1994, he received several blood transfusions as a kid. Yesterday while in my hometown, I saw a stranger who remembered me as a person she knew through common friends, one of which was my husband. I learned today he was sleeping with men while sleeping with me. I love surprises... not. I always wondered how a man who...
Today I love me and I am worthy. I am a sound woman. I have great character. I am a leader. I am fierce. I am a rockstar. I am a sister. I am a friend. I am everything I want to be. I am a beast to reckon with. I am loved. I am powerful. I am an overcomer. I am life. I am fun. I am happy. I am satisfied. I am beautiful. I am I am I am BECAUSE I SAY I AM!! Love and Light; Stay Beautiful. Remember how we talk to ourselves is what sets our stage for the day and how others treat us. So be kind in your words about yourself. We are our worst critics. Send love upon yourself.
SPEAK UP! 2018 was full of learning experiences, humility, sass and love. #PWNSummit #Speakup2018 I was greeted at the airport by Tami Haught and a group of ladies traveling to the same event. This year was #PWNUSA Ten Year’s Fierce Celebration. The lasting impression I got this year was the love and friendship, and I reconnected with the ladies I seen at #speakup2016. I love that we as a group of diverse woman were able to get through our differences and fears. I want to give a shout out to my Sarasota Women’s Support Group for joining in on this event. I was feeling so loved you all came to...
A recharge. I have set things, people, friends, solidarity, women, and some of my sisters all in a space of chaos in my life. Fighting a fight others pretend is not here (mental health). It is here as an invisible illness, it's a fact as accurate as LUNG CANCER, can take your friends, mental health can kill them too. You stand with me armed with leadership, integrity, compassion, understanding, and possibilities. I will not hide. I will fight! From afar YOU calm my inner being; helping myself (my experiences) to stare in the face of stigma and laugh; a belly laugh. You taught me self care...
When I found out I tested positive for HIV I was first unprepared to process what was going on in my body. Knowing since 93 it could lie dormant in my body and having lost my first sexual partner to AIDS, my name would be forever tainted by The AIDS Epidemic. When I didn't know for sure, I was sure it was better off that way. Fast forward to receiving my positive status, I officially had to acknowledge in 2006. I was guided by the doctors and staff at my clinic and within a month I went to being undetectable and my T cells went from 52 to over 250. I share this for good reason. Armed with some...