Baby?

katie06's picture

As many of you know, I was diagnosed when I was pregnant, which was about 3 years ago.  I took medication from my second trimester through delivery and then stopped due to doctor’s advice.  I went to the doctor last week and he advised me that due to recent changes in the guidelines, I should really consider going on medications.  However, he said that if I wanted to have another child, I should wait to begin medication when I enter my second trimester and then simply continue the drug regimen after birth.  He also told me that if I want to have another child I should probably do so within the next two years.   

When my husband and I got married, we thought we’d have two children.  But then we were diagnosed and everything changed.  The amount of money we put toward medical bills and how long we will actually be able to physically and financially provide for our child and/or children came into question.  I have so many questions, doubts and even excitement about another child!  Am I selfish for bringing another child into this world when we are both sick?  Should I let this disease be the deciding factor of having another child?   I simply wish I had the answers.

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tatty2gud's picture

Hi ladies, Katie...

you are not selfish at all. I just lost the love of my life because I want another Baby and he feels he will lose me if I do. before we are women living with HIV, we are Women, and the need to want to bring a child into this world is natural.
If you can financially, emotionally and physically afford to have another child, I dont see the reason why not.
Just get a go ahead from ur doctor first. :-)

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jae001's picture

I think you need to take all things in consideration. I did have my last child 4 years after my diagnosis. I wouldn't change my decision for anything. But I am not you. I worked closely with my doctors. Everything worked out for the best. He is 14 years old & healthy. I feel that this is a very personal decision that you need to discuss with your husband. What risk are you willing to make. How healthy are you? Make an informed decision. You can't raise your family if it jepordizes your health.
Jae

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Flor's picture

Kate,
This is a very hard decision to take but if I was on your situation I would also think on who you might leave behind. Your first borne baby is staying and it is very lonely when they don't have siblings to play or to look out after during school. I had one daughter when I was 19 then I did not want anymore thinking that my spouse at the time wasn't not the right choice to be the father of any more of my kids but then, 8 years later, I met my second husband and he already had 3 kids of his own. We had one more daughter together and now she feels lonely because she is the little one while the others are all adults. Think about it, so at least your baby have someone else she or he could call family or home.

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gina's picture

No not at all. I was diagnosed in 2005. I had just been married 8 months. I was devastated. My new husband tested negative. I traced my virus to an ex spouse back in 1993. I went back to past loves and all were negative. I thanked God but felt so ashamed my new marriage fell apart. It took me 5 long years to accept my diagnosis. I am finally sure of myself have a very strong relationship with God. I am an aids advocate and am engaged to a wonderful HIV - man. We are trying to conceive now. I know God has me here for a reason. My life is in His hands. No you are not selfish. Trust in God and the rest will take care of itself.

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