I went into Black History Month wanting to be intentional with my hair and taking the time to rock natural hair styles. I decided to go natural in 2018 when I found out I was pregnant. When I say the cream of crack (aka a perm) has been calling my name, but I have stood strong and have not touched it. I knew my hair and how to work with it when it was altered with a perm. Becoming natural after all these years I still don't know my hair. We are strangers. It doesn't help I have not seen a professional since 2018. I call it a love-hate relationship.
My hair is thick and very coiled in my natural state. My shrinkage makes me look like a little boy and most times I get so frustrated. That's when I put it in a ponytail or a protective style. I still wore somewhat of a protective style in February but was more intentional with wearing more natural styles. Embracing my culture and my blackness.
The hair on my head is an extra accessory and if its not right, I'm not right. I don't want to go anywhere and don't want to take pictures. That's why I felt February would be a good month to pour into me. I also took extra time to put more effort into my outfits going to work.
The ending of 2025 and the beginning of 2026 has opened my eyes to so much in my personal life. Changes have to be made immediately for me to be happy. I'm always pouring into people but not necessarily being poured into when needed.
I became sick mid February with some shit that nobody knew what was wrong. I guess it was just a really bad cold. Those things still exist. Even though I was home and barely combed my hair, reflecting while coughing my lungs up, I realized it's okay for me to have my hair stand on top of my head. It was time for me to rest this negative energy I had been carrying. When I say I have not rested like this since I was single and only had to worry about me - that was 9 years ago. This was the first time in years I didn't feel bad about taking off work to focus on me. Although I still had home obligations, this was the most rest I have gotten in almost a decade.
I ended the month with flat ironing my hair and adding curls.
It's just amazing how much black hair can alter itself. Doing my hair is a hassle and I hope to become besties with her again one day. We have been on a long journey and I love to see what she has planned. A friendly reminder to be gentle with yourself because it's only one you.
I would like to share my memories from February: I went to the mother-son dance that happened at the beginning of the month; my man and I went to our first jazz club for Valentine's Day, a time was had; I worked my business and decorated for an epic Galentine's before I got really sick.
I know the world feels like it's falling apart. Most of it is. But just make time to do the things that bring you joy. Don't wait until later. Do that shit now!
