As many of you know, I recently had an interview with www.thefrisky.com on World AIDS Day. I had never been involved in something of that nature and was very nervous. I am not very public about my positive status, so to be interviewed by a website which gets viewed by so many people was somewhat intimidating! The interview went well, and I was very proud of the final outcome.
I was a bit scared to read the comments people left after reading the blog. After all, it’s pretty easy to say anything from the comfort of your home and the anonymous shield the internet provides. But to my surprise, I was not ridiculed or mocked. The readers responded with understanding and compassion.
The comment I read most frequently was whether or not I was angry. And to be honest, I am. I am angry with HIV/AIDS for existing. I am angry with the world for not being more understanding. I am angry with science and nature for not having a cure. I am angry with my husband for living a party lifestyle in his youth. But most of all, I am angry at myself for not protecting myself!
While my husband and I agree that he likely contracted it first due to his partying, we do not know for certain. We will likely never know and honestly never want to know. My husband and I have decided that it doesn’t matter who contracted it first. What matters is the fact that we came together in love and chose to have a child together. We are a team that must work together and not against one another. We often joke that we are the “Happy HIV’s”, the humor helps us cope. We find comfort in knowing that we are not only married, but we are taking part in a life-long journey that shares a very deep bond.