Unashamedly Positive….It was Only A Dream!!!

I had this amazing dream the other night or maybe early morning? It seemed so real and fantastical- don’t know if that’s an actual word but it really fits the moment!  I have recently moved from a two bedroom house into a one bedroom flat so understandably space…or lack of space...is an issue for an Artist that has been constantly creating pieces of artwork over the last five years or so. I dreamt that I found out that in my flat I had an extra room- a room that I had no prior knowledge of!  It was so exciting opening this door into another available space.  The room was really large with a high ceiling with deep fitted cupboards up high all around the room. There was also a long kitchen bar along one of the walls.  I couldn’t believe my eyes…I had a room large enough to hold Art Exhibitions, to store artwork and equipment and also be able to serve drinks, etc. to my guests. It was the most Fantastical space, and why oh why had I not uncovered it when moving in as I had been having to share my bedroom over the last few months with artwork and equipment piled high... When in fact I’d had this room all along??? AND THEN I WOKE UP!!!!  And yep you guessed it, there was no extra surprise room and yep my bedroom was still piled high as a storage space!  But it was an amazing dream and made me think that maybe it was a look into the future as it was so real…I could touch it? I was taking efavirenz (Sustiva) for many years and know it causes all sorts of sleep disturbances and odd dreams.  I had got used to it and quite liked the strange array of dreams that sometimes really inspired me and even some felt like predictions and I would write them down for future reference… I even started to question whether these tablets were the catalyst of my creativity and was really apprehensive when my Doctor decided to change my meds and take me off efavirenz…what if I stopped getting ideas, as this has now become the biggest focus in my life and made me want to get out of bed in the mornings, even when I was in pain and not feeling 100%...My Art was my lifeline and my reason to live. Silly me for worrying…It wasn’t my meds that were the source of inspiration…It was in me all the time!!!

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Its amazing what we find

Angel S.'s picture

Its amazing what we find right inside our selves when we want to take a look. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I have had some serious dreams on Atripla; now on Complara ,and Yes, The nightmares have stopped. I get uip and show up these days with just a little more sleep than before. I do wake up grateful that I know my status. I can now begin to heal from the hurts by sharing my story of overcoming with others. I can't wait for cure until then I will be grateful to be undectable , helping others achieve their goals while living HIV positive. Thank you

 

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