Nineteen years ago, I never imagined that I would one day have the strength to speak openly about my status in a leading HIV magazine. But here I am.
I no longer have the hatred I used to have for my friend, but I still have that trauma from before, and when I think back to that time, I cry.
It felt like a warm blanket, comforting me in moments of loneliness, sadness, depression, and anxiety. When the weight of my emotions became unbearable, alcohol was there to dull the edges.
It was from the second class that I really understood that I am HIV-positive. Since then, nothing was the same as before.
HIV had kept me locked in fear for over a decade, constantly worrying about stigma and judgement. But I reminded myself of everything I had learned through yoga, meditation, and mindfulness: Stay present.
I believe that by being open about my experience, I can help dismantle the myths and misconceptions about living with HIV. Every life has those pivotal moments, the ones that change everything.
I come here when things are rough. When my head is so full I have to put it on paper. I can't say that I put it all here.
As I continue to blog and open up about my story for the first time, I hope to give readers insight into how a former barber from Rancho Cucamonga, CA turned an HIV diagnosis into the biggest blessing of her life.
Words have tremendous power. That dumb ass saying about sticks and stones makes sense to say to kids, because its coming from an adult perspective with the experience of having learned to deal with the pain of harsh words.
I am very proud to be delivering a workshop at AIDS 2024, the International AIDS Conference in Munich, about mindfulness, stress reduction and emotional balance.