As I sit, reflecting on the past images, moments and those feelings that came from within, from deep within... the wondering how, when, why and where, of my HIV diagnosis... In the beginning I could not hear God's voice, today I know that it was because I was filled with so much hurt, loss, pain and anger.
As I approach my 17th year of living with HIV, I can clearly hear God's voice, I'm happy to hear his voice, I realize how much more painful it was not being able to hear it. I know now that I do not ever have to live without God's voice again. The how, when, where, and why is no longer important.
HIV gave me something else that is also positive, it gave me a better understanding of myself that I possibly would have never found or received if it wasn't for HIV. I know that I'm an even better person because of it. It gave me a purpose right at the time when I really wasn't sure of what my life purpose was. I was 39 yrs old when I learned of my HIV status, I have been fully aware of the needed direction to go in ever since then. I was so lost and now I have been found.