I don't know if this will ever have a part two. But I needed to share this part now.
I left—not because I wanted to, but because I had to.
I left to live.
Back home, I was surrounded by fear, pain, and life-threatening situations.
I found myself at a breaking point. If I had stayed, I truly believe I would have done the unthinkable. That thought still haunts me.
I was dying slowly—emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
I felt like I was losing my mind. I didn't see a purpose in continuing.
Every day felt like just waking up and going back to sleep. I was just existing, and even that felt too heavy.
Coming to the U.S. wasn't about chasing a dream. It was about surviving. I came here to save my life.
Many times, I've had to face the question: "Why are you here in the U.S.?" or "Why Indianapolis?"
And honestly… I often don't know how to answer. I just smile.
Because how do you explain to someone that being here is the reason you're still alive?
That this city, unfamiliar as it may be, became a lifeline when everything else was falling apart?
The only voice that kept me going during the darkest times was from someone who believed in me. "Bose, keep hanging in there," Krista Martel would say. And somehow, I did.
It's been almost three years since I arrived.
And it's still hard—really hard. I'm still trying to find where I belong, how to heal, how to start over.
But I'm here. And for now, that's enough!!!
Fighting fear
I am glad you found the strength to start over new. There are so many people who let fear take over and never know what could've been. I left the city I was born in at 18 years and don't regret a thing. I did not see a future there for me at a young age and have progressed much further here than I would have back home. You are not alone when it comes to finding where you belong. I struggle with that sometimes. Then there are times where you belong falls in you lap.
it doesn't always make sense
our moves will not always make sense to the people on the outside of us because they are not supposed to. it is our path. our journey. our walk. i am so grateful that you fought to save yourself. i am so proud to know you and happy to see your blogs!
Thank you for sharing this…
Thank you for sharing this piece of your journey. It takes so much courage to put these words out there and I felt every part of it. Survival isn’t always easy to explain but the way you’ve held on and chosen life is powerful. I’m grateful you’re still here and I pray you continue to find spaces where you feel safe, seen and at home. 💖