I was reflecting on myself and realized I'm willing to make the mistakes. It may not feel good when I do, however I learn so much from those mistakes. From believing in myself and the lack thereof at times. To holding grudges to venting to moving on.
I sit quietly and remind myself as I cry that it's not all going to feel good, however the choice to access or analyze, self reflect, and just be present to any thoughts and feelings that are coming up have been vital to me rebuilding my confidence. Discovering vulnerability on a new level has been the most challenging. The fear of disappointing others to even that moment of perfectionism creeping up.
I question myself while seeking outward reassurance. You know feeling insecure, confused... essentially unsafe, unsupported. What could I have done differently? How can I move on the chess board for my next move?
What will people think or say or feel?
I step away from the board, admire the pieces, see the difficult parts that may not please my opponent and do what's best to protect my Queen aka My HEART.
- & then life went on...