When I was first diagnosed with HIV in 2016, it felt like the ground beneath me had disappeared. The relationship that led me to this diagnosis left me emotionally bruised, questioning my worth, my future, and whether love was still possible for someone like me. For a while, I didn't have the energy or the desire to open myself up again. But today, I'm here to tell you I am dating. And not just casually dating, but in an actual relationship.
Let me be clear: it's not perfect, but it's real. It's honest. It's different.
Being with someone who knows my status, respects my boundaries, and offers consistent reassurance has been both healing and eye-opening. We laugh, we talk about dreams, we argue (and resolve), and we make plans. He sees me, all of me, not just my diagnosis. That, in itself, has been a revelation. For the first time in a long time, I'm not looking over my shoulder in fear. I'm looking forward.
But the fears creep in…
Even with his reassurance, I won't lie sometimes fear shows up uninvited. Will he cheat? Am I really enough? What if this ends like the last one? Trauma has a way of sneaking into the most peaceful moments, whispering doubts that I work daily to silence.
But I've realized this: fear is not fact. My past does not have to dictate my future and love, even with HIV, is still mine to receive.
know this: you are enough, just as you are.
Dating while living with HIV comes with challenges… navigating disclosure, managing stigma, and protecting your mental health. I've learned to move with caution, but not with walls. I prioritize my peace, my health and my self-worth.
To my sisters reading this: you are not your diagnosis. You are worthy of love, respect, affection, and partnership. You deserve your soft girl era… the era where you receive without fear, love without conditions and choose joy over survival.
Yes, it's okay to be cautious but don't let caution keep you from connection. Healing happens when we allow ourselves to be seen and loved.
I don't have all the answers, but I do know this: I choose to show up for love with open eyes, a full heart and a commitment to myself first. I've learned that the right person won't run from your diagnosis they'll stand beside you in it.
So whether you're single, dating or just thinking about love again, know this: you are enough, just as you are. And you are so worthy of a love that feels safe, soft, and true.
