Asking for Help

So today I was reading blogs and looking at Facebook. I was troubled to see how many times people tell me I can hit them up if I need someone to talk to.

My problem with this is when people try to control you for so long, asking for some to help is not as easy as it seems. The trust involved and vulnerability you must submit to is scary as hell. I am changing my perspective on how I see things; if I only think of the outcome as how it played out I am not giving myself the opportunities to find another way to a better outcome or solution.

So I am sitting here in my new place with a roommate - a male. Ugh, the drama over I am so cute and I should want to fuck him. Lmao, I hate it. It’s degrading and hurtful. I withdraw from my duties to avoid being talked to like this. I sit wasting time and valuable living moments by being drained of all self worth daily.

Yet I smile and continue to move forward. I am the reason I am here in the first place. I accept my responsibility for the situation at hand. However I will not accept being bullied or belittled by others taking advantage of me starting over. To use a person’s mental illness against them or their status is such a sick game.

I am writing this to say I hear you and I love your listening; I’m just not ready to talk so I write. I don't know where I would be if I did not have this outlet. Thank you so much. 

Never surrender. I am because I choose to be ... Valued.