Nikki J's picture

About 10 years ago I sat in a dorm room playing the words the man said to me a few hours earlier, "Your HIV test came back positive". What did that even mean? All I could think at the time was death. God, when will I die? Those were my thoughts.

Here I am 10 years later and realizing that I will live and not die, at least not from HIV. I choose to live freely and not let it be a definer of who I am. Living with HIV has been somewhat of a rollercoaster for me. I started at a place where I thought I would never do half of the things I dreamed to doing everything I could think of. I decided to go to nursing school after my diagnosis. Although at the time I didn't think I would ever share my story, I just knew there was work to do. I saw how fragile I was treated. I saw other healthcare workers tell me they would never even get tested. I saw the gap and I knew there was a need that had to be filled. I took the life that I actually thought would not amount to anything and made it something I could never imagine. I knew that I could not stay in a trapped position; I could not keep isolating the gifts on the inside of me. I chose freedom instead.

I wanted freedom from






and "bitterness"

This freedom came when I chose to accept it, accept me. I did not choose to be HIV positive, but I am. A lot of other things came along with the diagnosis that I didn't like. One thing it did give me was strength. The strength to know that I can get through and that to take me out you have to try a lot harder. So girl, I want you to remember me and go be free!




I'm a nurse as well living

Red40something's picture

I'm a nurse as well living the positive life! I find working in HIV care  is parts the most rewarding thing I could have ever done, and that which drives me crazy! Blessings to you sis! Keep doing what you do in freedom


Thank you so much its always

Nikki J's picture

Thank you so much its always great to meet other Nurses! Thank you for your words


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