Then it was real...

Submitted on Jan 13, 2016 by  highlyfavoured

It has been a while since I wrote anything, but I have been reading a lot of the blogs. I had my health in check or so I thought. I ate well, rested, took vitamins and took care of myself when I was ill but I still couldn't stop my CD4 count from dropping. And to think two years ago it increased. Well, last year it dropped so badly that my refusal to start treatment since January 2014 was pointless.

I refused treatment because I feared the side effects especially the mental ones, but in December 2015 I eventually gave up and started treatment. Well I must say the side effects in the first week were terrible but not as bad as I had anticipated. I spent most of the holidays sleeping for fear of exposing myself or something terrible happening.

I prayed hard that I don't have terrible dreams, insomnia or other mental related side effects and thank God I had a few sleepless nights, a few nights of vivid dreams and nothing else. The dizziness on the other hand, oh sweet Lord, it's three weeks later and some nights I walk to the loo holding on to the wall. I have avoided indulging in the festivities of the holidays and eating a lot for fear of puking.

I think in all honesty I'm still scared. What I feared before treatment I still fear even though I've started. I've lost some weight and have had a cough for a few days and alarm bells are going off. What if it's TB, or drug resistance and from what I've read it is still early to tell. However I must admit it's not as bad as I thought or rather read. I'm hoping that in a few weeks I will fear less and be well adjusted.

I guess four years later, it is for real... I'm a young woman living with HIV.

Submitted by katie06

Good luck! You can do this :)  it's a big step to start meds, but the good news is that they work! 

Submitted by EriKa_Belize

Starting treatment is always a challenge. A challenge to our hesitation sometimes to be on meds, a challenge to starting a new routine ... one that will be with us for a long time and the fear of side effects. BUT. it's a step in the right direction, a decision you will always be happy and proud to have taken! Sending you positive energy and hugs, may your adjustment be smooth and your recovery speedy!

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