You don't have to.

Submitted on Mar 16, 2022 by  Red40something

You don't have to.
You. Don't. Have. To.
No tienes. Tu n'as pas.
I can't repeat it enough.
You do not have to take everything that comes to you. Not everything you find is yours to pick up and not everything you pick up is yours to carry.

You don't have to let it in your spirit.
The mess. The emotional stress. The guilt trips. The pain. The baggage and trauma other people lay on you because they are tired of carrying it. It's cool to be a listening ear. To let people lean on you. It's what we're taught right? To be a "good" person and friend. You don't have to and it doesn't make you a terrible person to not want to. Listen Sis, if someone else's trauma and mess is crowding your spirit, aura or soul, you don't have to take it in.

You don't have to take it on.
The extra project at work. Giving that carpool ride every day. Babysitting or pet sitting. You're the go to girl for everybody. Being taken for granted cause you're always there. You come off like you have never ending energy. You keep saying yes. when you want to say no. You have time for everything and everyone except your goals, plans and projects. Sis, if it doesn't spark good feelings in you- you do not have to take it on.

You don't have to listen.
The whispered conversation. The supposedly sage advice. All of the sentences that start with "you should" or "you need to". When they say "if I were you I would have..." The language they spit at you to belittle you. The insidious innuendo and "constructive" criticism meant to make you question your worth and value. Cover your ears. Sis, if it makes you feel small- you don't have to listen.

You don't even have to listen to me. I actually don't like the sound of my voice on recording and try not to listen to it, lol, but I do believe in taking my own advice. You don't have to listen to my words and voice. I'm just gonna ask you gently and with love, to listen to you. Listen to your spirit when it's feeling crowded and weighed down. Listen to your body when it tells you it can't take one more task. Listen to your heart when someone is bruising it with thoughtless words. Listen to your own voice. The inner voice and intuition is there to protect you and help you grow. Listen to the voice that speaks peace and hope and encouragement. I promise you, if your inner voice is not speaking to you in love, it's not your voice. Release it. That's the opinions and ideas of all the outside influences that have snuck in and are trying to drown your own voice out. Tell that insecure negative sound to be quiet. Listen to the other one Sis. The one that makes you feel like you.

You don't have to, but you could. There is love there.

Be well. You matter.


Submitted by JoDha

I just love love love it. And honestly, I needed it too. 

"Not everything you find is yours to pick up and not everything you pick up is yours to carry." is what made me deeply reflect. True. I definitely needed this.

Thank you for writing in, so full of emotions, that I could "feel" it, every sentence, word by word and it is like a soothing balm to my soul. 

<3 Jo

Submitted by Kat

I am forever grateful for learning to say the one word sentence of NO .P.E.R.I.O.D No explenation no nothing, just no. So liberating . Thanks for the reminder <3

Submitted by IeshiaDKScott

I love how you gave the message and then shifted it at the end. This for me is a reminder to set and adhere to my boundaries! 

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