I got caught up in believing I didn't deserve respect because of my past and dark parts of my identity that I tuck away and try to forget about until it's all I remember. But now I'm learning that...

Following our trip to California, I continued mourning my life before HIV. In the midst of the daily funerals I would have for my "old self," I was still waiting, and in some ways hoping (praying) that this was not my reality.

I think my knees gave out and I stopped breathing all together, but it's so hard to remember what exactly happened next. I know that I asked for confirmation, "So, you're telling me that it's true… that I really do have HIV?" She replied quickly and apologetically, "Yes, I am so sorry."

Take your time. Your life just changed in a very drastic way and all of the feelings you are feeling right now are completely valid- anger, sadness, fear- allow yourself to feel them all. Surround...