Yesterday I found out someone I knew who was HIV positive committed suicide. You see HIV not only tries to destroy the body but it tries to destroy the mind and its emotional stability!!! This is why many of us who are positive take meds for depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Many of us don't die from complications associated with AIDS!!! Loneliness, stress and broken hearts are why many of us stay sick. One thing leads to another and there you have it another life gone!!!
I cried myself to sleep last night. I couldn't even pray; I was angry. And in spite of all that profanity I used God still rocked me and I heard a soft voice that said calm down and rest, just rest. I tried to fight it because I was afraid to close my eyes.
In my dreams once again I saw that I had a purpose driven life. I wrote a song during my senior year in high school titled "Prayer Is the Answer and Faith Unlocks the Door." I won second place in the school talent show for my performance. Well last night I dreamed that I was sitting at a keyboard singing that very song to some people. My daddy was there and this old man who was a friend of my dad sang my dad’s favorite song which was "May the work I've done speak for me."
I'm still heavy hearted but I know everything will be alright. To all my family and friends when the cares of this world become grains of sand in your throat and rivers of waters in your eyes, Reach Out, Reach Up and Pray. There is truly a Balm in Gilead and He can and will soothe your weary soul!!! "Father I stretch my hand to Thee. No other help I know. If Thou withdraw Thyself from me, whether shall I go?" Be encouraged, may the Most High continuously rain down His blessings on you and yours and do know that you are unconditionally loved!!!
Im so sorry !
Dear sis I felt horrible with the news as well :-( HIV does attack our brains and mental health . we have to continue pushing until we are free one day . love and light