Dear young person who has gone public... Take it easy on yourself. Don't be hard on yourself. Do practice self-love.
When I went public with my status, I received overwhelming response from young people going through what I did... explaining how hard it is just to accept their HIV positive status. And, of course, my utmost sincere response was even now, just to be there for that young person to remind them it's okay. It's okay, it's absolutely okay to feel what they are feeling and, damn, it's okay... Because healing is not linear. You will absolutely have your ups and downs.
To that young person who has gone public... you really can't save everyone. You can't be there for everyone. Even if you were, others, they can't just pass through their denial...
Look, it's okay to feel like a failure... it's okay to feel you could have done more... but hey, you are also going through your problems. That's where it gets damn tough. Who do you go to to ask for help, to confide in, just someone to listen to you and not to judge you, that you are strong? Who will you go to and scream about your problems? Everyone thinks you are strong, that you are okay, that your life is figured out.
I send hugs to you, my friends who have gone public... I hope you have friends you can confide in. It's okay not be okay.
Lots of love.