Polishing My Crown

I've kinda been in weird place mentally and emotionally. I'm sure a lot of it has to do with my physical health, but that's a story for another day.

You'd think by now some of the negative responses towards my status wouldn't get to me, but maybe it's because my strength is just a little low and my tolerance is thin. I've been pouring so much into others that I've been neglecting myself. But lately I'm just not feeling it, anything, nothing at all.

I know so many of us are commended for our strength and resilience, but as I write this I'm reminded that we don't always need to wear a brave face. Unless you've weathered the storm of HIV, it's hard to understand what we go through. There are plenty of good days because we know we are more than our diagnosis, but on days that we aren't good, sometimes they last a bit longer than we'd like.

Living with HIV publicly or silently is a battle. Our bodies are in a constant fight to keep us healthy, and thank goodness for the advances in medicine, but it doesn't negate the fact that this virus is smart and these meds are strong. To think that's just the physical battle, sometimes the easiest of them all.

This is a reminder for me and you, to rest and recharge as much as needed. It doesn't mean your crown is flawed; it just needs to be polished.

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Affirm that!

Red40something's picture

Thats a good reminder. I really believe the saying - "You can't pour from an empty cup". Take the time to shine up and rest up. 

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I absoloutely agree! I want

Marig2016's picture

I absoloutely agree! I want to say I first realized that when I read the 5 Love Languages book! But you know as advocates we are nurtures and givers, always pouring into others & often forget we deserve to pur into ourselves equally! xoxo 

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I concur

boseolotu's picture

Yes so true, many are time life keep throwing tantrums at us.
It is so hard and difficult as a woman living with HIV and aging with the virus comes with lots of health challenges.
Thank you for this reminder.

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Yes it does, but life was

Marig2016's picture

Yes it does, but life was designed to be unfair that we can navigate it to our benefit! Regardless of our circumstance we are worth and often we have to remind ourselves of that worth! 

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I feel this

KatieAdsila's picture

I've been in a weird place mentally/emotionally lately too. This reminds me that I'm not alone, thank you

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Kaie my dear you are so

Marig2016's picture

Kaie my dear you are so welcome! Be sure to carve out time to challenge the space you've been in. Sometimes we dont get past those emotions until we face them. AGLM often reminds me I am not alone. Life gets the best of us and our hectic schedules sometimes dont allow us to connect with others the way we would like. I am so grateful for this platform and the sisterhood we all have! ;) Im only a call, text or blog away  xoxo 

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