When do you tell?

Submitted on Feb 4, 2010 by  tatty2gud

I’m still single and dating has become a nightmare overnight. I used to be comfortable disclosing to my “potentials”, but not anymore. I find myself swinging between “should I?” and “should I not?”. If I don’t, I feel like a liar, and if I do, I risk one more person knowing (and not knowing what they would do with the information is torture). I sometimes wonder whatever happened to the diva in me, since when do I care what people think of my status... oh I know, since I disclosed to “potential” and he had a panic attack and I had to give him CPR! Or maybe it’s since when I came to live home from university and my mom told me not to disgrace the family my telling my status to other people. But the question in my head still remains...when is the right time to tell? I know from experience that the longer you wait, the harder it is to tell. I am not perfect but I love myself with all my imperfections and hope to find a better way to disclose without needing approval and acceptance.

Dee (Dikeledi)

Submitted by marcia

Hi, dont be too hard on yoself girl, i always feel the same way and by now am convinced that i will know when is the right time. I am doing it over and over and to my suprise the people are fine bout it. Take my word, ull know when to tell. Happy weekend diva lady...

Submitted by marcia

I feel you sister it's hard to disclose cos when you do guys treat you like you are easy that's why you got the disease! I'm in a new relationship right now and I badly want to disclose to him but i end up chickening out

Submitted by barelycoping

Hello again Diks.
Disclosing cannot and will never be easy. Fortunately for me, we both tested at the same time because "he wanted more than a casual relationship". Only three other people are aware of my status- my mom, my doctor and my cousin, who is also positive, and I had to support her, so disclosing to her was effortless. The 4th year in2 this relationship, my partner has decided to cut ties. I'm still dealing with this but I am leaving my options open. There definately are a few interested suitors, but I'm in no hurry to get into another relationship. Besides, I don't know how or when to disclose because I have never been in that position before. In the meantime, I'm taking things very easy and spending time with myself. The more you are @ peace with your status, the easier it will be to talk openly about it. I'm not @ that stage yet, but am slowly getting there. As I write this, my positive cousin is lying next to me and I'm introducing her to this blog.

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