I recently decided to get the Covid vaccine. When it first started being administered I decided I was going to wait to see what happened to everyone else who got it. I didn't trust it. I felt it was rushed, it was still being tested (basically on us). I was scared. I was scared of what might happen to me if I were to get this vaccine. I'm not one to take medicine like that. I don't even get the flu shot.
A lot of people will say, "well you should be scared to get Covid". I did have Covid; my whole family did. We started showing symptoms the week after the entire world went into lockdown. Third week in March of 2020. For me, I was a little more fatigued than usual and had completely lost my sense of smell and taste for about a week. My husband had a very slight fever for a day or so, kind of like a cold. My daughter had some sniffles and a little cough thank goodness. My in-laws, who live downstairs from us, got sick too. My father in law had it the worst and my husband had to take him to the hospital. It was terrifying. I wouldn't even leave my house to walk the dogs without a mask and gloves on.
I am STILL very much scared of Covid. Sure, I didn't get too sick the first time, but who knows what could happen if i were to get it again? We had one Covid scare after Thanksgiving and I almost had a nervous breakdown. None of us got sick luckily, but those first couple of days I cried so much.
I'm terrified of catching Covid or my family catching Covid. I've been contemplating getting the vaccine for a few weeks. Going back and forth in my mind. Until one morning I was thinking to myself, why? Why don't I trust this vaccine? I have been living a healthy life with HIV for the last six years because of my medicine. Because of the hard work of doctors and how far science and technology have come over the years. What once was a death sentence is now a chronic manageable condition. How can I trust my HIV meds but not trust this vaccine? Well I did the first shot. At the end of the month I go for my second and that's the one I'm scared for. I've heard the possible side effects and I HATE being sick. I very rarely get sick. I do my best to take care of myself but this is something that's pretty much out of my control.
I'm doing it though. I'm doing it because I am so freaking over Covid. I want to get back to some kind of normal. I want to walk around without a damn mask on. I want my kid to be able to go to school and smile at her friends, hold hands and hug and play without a damn mask on. I don't want to be scared of getting sick and dying all the time. As the world starts to return to some resemblance of life pre-Covid, I have hope that we can put this experience behind us soon. Maybe me getting the vaccine will help that happen and give me some peace of mind.