A travel enthusiast, a recent dog mom, foodie, a corporate worker, I entered a new phase of my life in 2019 when I got officially married to this virus (after my diagnosis). It was one of those nights filled with anxiety – a year after my diagnosis. Staying awake meant looking for what HIV has got to do with my life. Is there anyone like me? And the search was finally fruitful when I chanced upon reading about many women living not only with the virus but living with content.
Well, it's been two years since I have been living with it, with an undetectable viral load, however, a very low CD4 count that has been gradually increasing. Life's perfectly fine until a fear knocks upon my new door once in a while- fear of being stigmatised and looked down upon, fear of rejection, fear of being left out alone, fear of death and so on. I also want to stop thinking about my encounter with this virus - it just pushes me in a dreadful world, and want to look ahead to making every aspect of my life better. However, I have decided that I am going to live each day as it comes. I have my own version of Doris Day's "Que Sera Sera" running in my head.
Why PixiePower wants to be part of A Girl Like Me: I will try use this platform to stay inspired and inspire! Writing with an anonymous identity from the land of cultural diversity and spicy food, I am looking forward to share my thoughts and wishes with women like me and also learning from your experiences.
I hope with your blogging, you find inspiration and the spark; that spark to see your HIV in different light, and hope it motivates you to live again, love again, laugh again.
Waiting for you to let go, unburden your heart, let the tears flow freely - and BE FREE.
I live by affirmations. They give me something to do and believe in until I actually know what to do. I offer you one to face your fear;
Fear is unjustified in the face of your power. It doesn't know your strength.
I hope this is a safe space for you and you find what you need. Welcome!
You are NOT alone!
There was a time when I thought I had overcome many personal fears around living with HIV. However, I know healing is a journey, and I now allow myself the space to feel and in/validate feelings as they come. My biggest lesson (or what I like to think is more of a revelation) is HIV is not my biggest issue or concern at the end of every day. Knowing and understanding this about my diagnosis has helped me with accepting it.
Like you, I love to travel. Maybe one day we will run/fly/cruise into each other, lol :) Welcome!!