Hello blog world, it's been a while. I've missed you guys. Sometimes I don't know the words to say so I don't write anything down. Sometimes I write things down but never finish. I think we all have those days. Lately I've been working on consistency. I start with one thing and once I've got it down, I add on another. It's been working out pretty well if I say so myself. Today I needed to get some feelings out. It's better than keeping them in I've learned.
I hate when something is going on with me and I don't know if it's normal and everyone deals with it, or do I have to consider that HIV may be the cause. The title of this blog stems from this battle of depression I've been fighting lately. It's worse because I thought I was over this whole depression thing, but then it just sneaks up on you out of nowhere. I had my days before I was given the news of my status, though since that day, it's been a lot worse and more in depth. Sometimes I just feel like... is it worth the fight? It's a constant battle and gets hard and scary.
A few weeks ago my mother sent me a Tik Tok with a woman explaining how black girls/women tend to live with High Functioning Depression. We are so trained to keep things in; don't have everyone in your business. You're strong, you got this, but what if today I can't be strong? What if I don't got this? A lot of times we go off of the things people tell us and not what we feel.
So in my mind, I'm kind of just wondering, is it worth the fight in the long run? Does it ever get better?