One year ago, I heard the words that changed my life: "You are HIV positive."
That moment shattered me. I didn't know what the future would look like, or if I even had one.
What I didn't expect was how many twists and obstacles I'd face in just twelve months.
I didn't even start treatment until March. My first medication made me so sick — two weeks of nonstop vomiting and relentless headaches that forced me to stop. On top of that, I was dealing with other serious health conditions that landed me in the hospital four times.
To make matters worse, my main HIV doctor went on extended leave. I ended up bouncing between three different providers this year, each one seeming more disconnected than the last. And the hospitals near me in the suburbs? They are not equipped to treat HIV patients. I've been dismissed, treated poorly, and essentially told I should "just go to the city" if I needed real care. But when you're in crisis, that's not an option.
Finally, this past Friday, I met with my third doctor at the HIV clinic. And for the first time in a long time, I felt hope. She actually took the time to read my chart, to listen, and to care. She was just as shocked as I was when my labs came back showing that after only one month on my new medication … I am Undetectable.
@godsbabi HIV Appointment #friday #selflove #selfcare #godsbabi #unashamed @Godsbabi ♬ original sound - godsbabi
Yes — undetectable. One year after diagnosis, after the setbacks, the pain, the frustration, and the prayers… God showed me His promise. God doesn't play about me.
This week also brought another blessing: I was finally able to receive some long-overdue vaccinations. Pneumonia and shingles shots may not sound like much, but for me, they mean protection, strength, and hopefully fewer hospital stays ahead. (Although, let me tell you — that shingles shot was a hefty one, and I have a high tolerance for pain!) I'm still trying to ride the wave of good news while pushing through some of the side effects. Thankfully, nausea meds have helped me get back on my feet, and for the first time in a long time, I've been highly productive around the house — laundry, cleaning, and some much-needed "housewife" duties.
And that part… has been its own journey. Getting married, quitting my job, and going from an independent "boss babe" to a stay-at-home wife has been an adjustment like no other. Mentally, it hasn't been easy. But I've tried to stay positive, pouring my energy into advocacy and finding new purpose in my voice.
When I sit back and look at everything that's happened in just one year, I realize how much I've accomplished. Through the hospital visits, the medication changes, the frustrations, the prayers, the tears — I am still here. I am smiling as I write this blog post.
I know we all have our own journeys and obstacles, but I had to take a moment to give thanks and share. When I was first diagnosed, I searched so hard to find someone like me — someone who could share raw, real-life experiences that I could connect with. That's my goal here: to share me, my journey, and to uplift and support as many people as I can through honesty and faith.
So, here I am — one year later. Still standing. Still smiling. Still unashamed.
Until next time, have a happy and safe weekend.
💛 Marie
