Willpower to Live

The hardest war ever fought is against self. That's all in the book. If it wasn't for AIDS, where would I be? Looking back, HIV and all its elements in its destruction taught me where to place my focus on life. It taught me how to nurture a fragile relationship where you may be the victim.

Living with HIV for me, I was more of a prisoner, a refugee at the mercy of God-given. An outcast of the society. A woman without a face. How can I forget days of masks? 33 years unchained freedom and a new tattoo on my conscience.

Our circumstances are so different yet the need to live a so-called "normal life" is uniform. So it is, I wasted energy looking for approval in the dark.

When you think the rainbow is around the corner, something else strikes.

I've been here before. How I got here is through my journey to advocate for self. I had enough of people, righteous people allowing discrimination at the cost of my health. Sending a blind eye on the issues of mental illness discriminated causes.

Will power, I ended up here on A Girl Like Me. I met wonderful and powerful advocates. It could have been nice to earn the blogger of the year. Instead I disappeared. Just because I have survived HIV does not mean I am immune to other cancers. Times like these aren't new. After a breast cancer diagnosis at the end of 2018, I had a mastectomy in early 2019.

For years I had spinal facets degenerative disease. I've been waiting for many years. I finally had spinal Infusion in December 2020 during the time the world went under attack. COVID-19… What the fu**, I found myself thinking.

I personally know very little about what PLHIV are feeling.

Compromised immune not compromised brain cells. That I know for sure. Who is caring for my scars? No one. Something HIV taught. I had to learn to be in charge of me where there is mass destruction.

As a survivor and a woman of color with a spiritual advantage.

I am feeling blessed I got to experience U=U, a milestone for all of us. Taken all that I have learned to fight COVID-19. Looking after one another is important. Looking after number one is paramount.

While I am nursing my back, I have been writing another book, revisiting the face of HIV.



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Red40something's picture

Red40something commented on 9 By 49

Wed, 9/15/2021 - 1:51am

Red40something's picture

Red40something commented on 9 By 49

Wed, 9/15/2021 - 1:50am

Get basic information about a variety of approaches to treating the metabolic changes that may result from living with HIV or taking HIV drugs.

Lipodystrophy means abnormal fat changes. This article addresses treatments for fat loss, or lipoatrophy.

Get basic information about lipodystrophy: body shape changes, metabolic complications, and causes and treatment of fat loss and fat gain.


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