Submitted on Jun 3, 2014 by  wowreallytab

So much has been on my mind.

I’m frustrated every time I turn around.

I’m sick of the hurt and killings.

I’m sick of listening to folks say I’m winning.

I’m tired of babies being hurt and abused.

I’m tired of the same crazy folks I see on the news.

I’m tired of people walking around like Typhoid Mary not taking care of their health because they are in such a hurry.

Not getting treatment.

Not using protection.

Not taking care of that pesky infection.

Not being responsible or even dreaming that a future is possible.

I cry as I write because of this poem I used to be the one singing this song.

I’m not judging or meaning any harm but I just want everyone to know the fight against HIV has not been won.

Don’t let down your guard don’t think it’s ok because HIV can be just a drink away.

Just a hit of this or a hit of that next thing you know your trying to cover up tracks.

You spiral out of control you lose your mind but you feel like the exhilaration was worth every dime.

You try to straighten up and make life right so you get married.

Now, here’s the hard part and you thought you were set apart only to find out that your other life still has your heart.

You fight and fight and you desperately want to make it right but now you find out you’re in the fight of your life.

Your old ways have reared their ugly head and you swear no one will ever find out not even when you’re dead.

So you trudge on not letting anyone know then here it comes that fateful blow.


It’s funny that this came out. Maybe because Mama Maya just passed . I don’t know. As I read the story of her grandchild being abducted, I just correlated it to HIV. Things never being quite normal. A void, a hole. Then after a few years pass you get better with it. You don’t trip off the HIV as much as you do the injustice and discrimination. How unbelievably hard it is to get your meds. Being treated like a dog because of the dreaded “package”.  Society has a way of labeling everything about you.

Then God reminds me that I have a destiny not rooted in people but my faith in Him. He shows me in dreams and visions that I do have a future. He reminds me that I’m a voice of the voiceless in Kansas City. The people that go to Church and love Jesus, God or whomever they worship but cannot ever let their Pastor nor the members  know that they are positive. So it’s NEVER about me. It’s about the God in me and I’ve been reminded  today of that and this…I WILL LIVE!!!

Everything is working together for my good. This is my season for grace and favor this is my season to reap what I have sown!!! Romans 8:28/William Murphy III

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