YOU are 100% RESPONSIBLE for your own happiness.

JoDha's picture

When friends whom I trusted stabbed me in the back; the friends whom I call my own started to distance away just because I didn't have money in my pockets; the friends whom I loved as "friends" took advantage of me; the friends who said to call whenever I needed them or in any sort of problems turned out to be empty promises; the friends whom I gave utmost importance and held them in high regards and respect treated me like shit – I realized that I need to cut away from them for my own happiness and inner peace.

Fast forward to today, at the age of 46, I have evolved into understanding that if I don't like the way I feel then it is my responsibility to stop it, speak out or shut it off – but not remain silent or subdued into a submission.

Break the emotion of FEAR

Break the chain of CO-DEPENDENCY

Break the chain of RELYING on someone

Once you decide to break free of this shackle, you will have the world at your feet.

(PRINT AND PASTE THAT AFFIRMATION IN FRONT OF THE BATHROOM MIRROR - and read by heart the first thing when you wake up to brush your teeth.)

It is no one else's responsibility to know what's going on with you.

It is no one else's responsibility to make sure you are okay.

It is no one else's responsibility to love you.

And that may sound cruel but it is the truth.

And the sooner that you can recognize that, the sooner you can realise how important you are TO YOU.

You will find that you can keep yourself alive.

You discover the incredible power you hold to keep yourself afloat.

You learn the importance of advocating for your own needs.

Because when it comes down to it...





A Picture of Freedom

Bethany M. Brown M.Ed.'s picture

Truly...your picture illustrates your words beautifully. *heart hug*

I would like to add a few "in-between" words for happiness (for being happy...for not always easy). They are peace, contentment, and homeostasis.

There are moments of peace when you realize the world is not yelling at your nor demanding from you anything but, perhaps, to listen to the birds or the hum of an appliance while, maybe, looking at a beloved picture or petting your furry companion.

There are moments of contentment when we realize we like our outfit, feel pleased by the offerings in our fridge, to watch a show with our feet up and realize that this moment is satisfying without the fumes of a dumpster fire.

There are moments when we experience homeostasis...the art of balance...and it is not about forcing control but feeling the forces in our life keeping things in check, so we can breathe.

I gather each of these like single pearls on a strand meant to become a gorgeous necklace. They make it easier to hold gratitude, express joy, and truly enjoy those moments when being happy does not feel like an accident but a place you have chosen to be for yourself.

Thank you for sharing how being centered-in-self is NOT the same thing as self-centered. That being happy is not something we wait for someone else to give us but something we can seize (with or without others' lovely company and contributions).


Hello Bethany,

JoDha's picture

Hello Bethany,

Love your input. "Being in the moment of ..." is also something I always do. Experienece and reflect. In this so fast paced life and materialistic needs, many have forgotten how to connect back and hence your message strike the right cord. It made me reconnect again as we tend to keep forgetting when we juggle through chores and deadlines. 

Much love.



Red40something's picture

Good one Jo. Self love and indeed, having a good sense of self are so important!!! Thanks for sharing!



Hello Red,

JoDha's picture

Hello Red,

Well, as a human, we all need cuddles, pampering, and being spoilt. But those days are gone and with changing of time people are becoming more and more difficult to understand. And we keep getting stressed by them - hence my post is, to be honest, an escapism - by not expecting - so that we aren't hurt or broken by them. I tend to give myself just 10% (of expectation where needed), remaining 90% I am strong enough to handle on my own. This way, if I have a heartbreak again, I will not be crying buckets :D


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